Once He's Dead
by Revan's Pet Duck
Summary: LSF Exile. An AU PostKotOR2 fic. After the deaths of Atton, Kreia and Malachor V, the Exile is lost and confused and finds herself hurting not only herself but her friends as well. Epilogue Added! Complete!
1. Chapter One

_Disclaimer: Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic II: The Sith Lords and its characters and such all belong to LucasArts and Obsidian. Not me, I'm just a measly average human being. –sigh- I'll get over it._

XxXxX

**Once He's Dead**

**Chapter One**

XxXxX

His death meant nothing.

_Keep telling yourself that and you might actually believe it._

Okay. His death meant nothing… his death meant nothing… his death meant-

_I still don't believe you! It meant something! You know it did!_

He was just an irritating pilot. He was annoying and rude and…

_He told you what he wouldn't tell anyone else. He confided in you._

That's only because I made him. If I hadn't made him he wouldn't have told me. I must've slipped some Force Persuade in there or something…

_He was under Revan's command! He would've been trained against things like that._

His death still meant nothing.

_It meant something you know it did. He was a friend. He helped you. He cared for you. He was honest with you…_

He's a fool. Kreia was right all along. He's a fool.

_So? You're a fool if you don't believe that his death hurt you. You know it did. You know his death struck a chord in you. You know Sion chose well when he decided to kill Atton instead of any of the others. Not Disciple, not Mira, not Visas, not Bao-Dur, but Atton._

I would've been hurt the same way if any of the others had died. Maybe more so.

_Liar._

I'm not lying! I didn't care for him! He's a murderer!

_You're a murderer too. You've killed. With each death you grow stronger. Every _murder.

Shut up! SHUT UP!

_It's true! You know it's true! You know you're a murderer. You KNOW he's a murderer. And you know you don't care. You have feelings for him regardless._

Yeah right! He's Atton Rand, ex-Jedi murderer turned Jedi. I wouldn't trust him with my credits much less my life. Just because he's got a lightsaber and the robes doesn't mean he's redeemed.

_It's a bit late anyways. He's dead._

I know he's dead.

_And it hurts doesn't it? It hurts that he's dead. It hurt that you saw him when he died. And it made your heart leap for the split second when he told you how he felt about you before he died._

Those were lies. He didn't love me. He only thought he did.

_You loved him too._

No I didn't! He was barely even what I'd call a friend! He was a pain in the ass and the only reason I kept him around was to pilot the ship. Perhaps someone else could've managed piloting, but I kept him for it anyways because up in the cockpit he couldn't bother me.

_You kept him around because you cared about him. You wanted him with you. To protect you._

Like Atton Rand could've protected me! I'm much more capable than he is.

_But can you protect yourself against your own demons? From the fact that you're a wound in the Force? From the facts that Kreia and the Jedi Council laid on the line for you to see? You cannot. You need someone who shares the same demons of his own past for that._

Many other people have their own demons. I don't need Atton.

_He's dead anyways._

It meant something.

_You are correct. Atton may not have been the best person, the best companion or the best Jedi in the galaxy…_

Obviously…

…_But he loved you. He would've been there for you. He would've protected you._

I don't need him.

_Then why are you crying?_

XxXxX

The Jedi Exile, Sienna Vaas was prepared to die. She had asked Bao-Dur's Remote to activate the Mass Shadow Generator. The debate within her about Atton's death and its impact was meaningless. Soon enough she'd be dead too.

Unexpectedly however, the loud sound of engines roaring sounded as Sienna looked up and saw a ship entering into the deep hole in Malachor V that was the Trayus Core. It was the Ebon Hawk. And it was swooping down to rescue her.

The sudden curiosity of who was piloting the ship brought back the reminder that Atton was dead and it had to be someone else. The ship hovered next to the platform on which Sienna stood. It began shaking. The Mass Shadow Generator was activated.

The loading ramp lowered and Sienna, former thoughts fleeing from her mind as her instincts kicked in, rushed over to it and used the Force to make the jump as she leapt inside. But before any further thoughts came to her mind, she tripped and fell into strong arms as she fell into unconsciousness.

XxXxX

"Is she even alive?"

"Yes. She's alive. And she awake now."

Sienna blinked and looked up. The voices speaking were none other than Mical and Mira leaning over her, the former looking concerned. She remembered what Kreia had said, about Mical loving her, and she ignored it. She didn't really care anymore. But what she was going to do next she didn't know.

"Where are we going?" Her voice sounded cracked and it came out as a whisper followed by a throaty cough. She tried sitting up but felt dizzy as she did.

"Telos," Mira replied simply with a shrug. "Where else? It seems all paths for you guys lead to Telos."

Sienna tried to smirk but she felt weak and drained of all energy. "Who's… who's piloting?" she asked, remembering that it wasn't Atton. Atton was dead, and so was Malachor V where his grave had been.

"Bao-Dur and T3 are piloting the ship," Mical replied, reaching into a drawer for a few bandages. Sienna idly realized that there was bloodstains on her robes and multiple cuts. Some of the blood was probably Atton's…

_Stop it!_ she yelled at herself mentally.

The trip to Telos was quiet and solemn. Mical puttered around the med bay where Sienna laid on the bed, bandaging her up again and again, not speaking much. Mira had left to go somewhere else on the ship, Sienna wasn't sure exactly where to.

Kreia's words, all of them, replayed in her mind as she took off her grimy robe and set it on a chair. She had cuts along her arms, but nothing serious. "I'm… going to go clean up," she told Mical who hadn't said a word since Mira left. He nodded his head and muttered something she couldn't hear, so she just walked out of the room and into the 'fresher.

The grossness of Malachor V washed off of her, and she let it go gleefully. Once cleaned and feeling much fresher than she had felt recently, she walked back into the med bay to find Mical looking through some datapads. He looked up at her and began to speak, but no words came.

It was as if a giant wall had been set between each and every person on the ship. Mira had seemed normal beforehand, but through Sienna's weak bond with the bounty huntress, she sensed a bit of unease and uncertainty. Bao-Dur seemed a bit shaken, and Mical… Mical seemed a little anxious and worried… and as always, admiring of her.

At first when Sienna had met Mical, the bow was an interesting first impression. Once she learned she had known him beforehand, back at the enclave years ago, she was a bit flattered that he remembered her so well. She could feel his deepening feelings for her, never wavering emotion for her. Considering what a good Jedi he was, she was surprised he didn't contain his feelings better so. Or maybe he was just bad at throwing up walls.

"How long was I out?" Sienna asked, realizing she wasn't exactly sure.

Mical seemed a bit more comfortable now, on a topic he knew something about. "Not as long as we'd had expected. You were only unconscious for about a single day. Your injuries and fatigue seemed to overcome you as you boarded the ship. Luckily enough, I caught you before you fell onto the ground and injured yourself further. We were afraid you wouldn't wake up… at least not anytime soon."

Sienna felt slightly awkward again as Mical turned his head to one side and set his datapad down. "I don't think I expected anyone to die," she said bluntly. She had to tell someone what was going on inside her mind and it just so happened that Mical was right there, and that he was a good listener.

"I don't think any of us expected to die when we joined up with you," Mical said plainly. "Not that we wouldn't gladly die for you," he added quietly. Sienna sat down on the medical bed, across from Mical's position in the lone chair.

She sighed and looked down at the ground. "I gave him so many chances to leave, but he didn't take a single one, even when we were so angry with each other we were ready to stick lightsabers down one another's throats." She felt her eyes tearing and she held them back. She wasn't going to cry. She was fracking stronger than that. She was strong enough not to cry.

Mical reached forward and cupped her chin. "Atton… and I had our differences, but I'm sure he died nobly."

Sienna shook her head. "I know he didn't deserve it." She couldn't stop the tears now. She felt so weak and ashamed of feeling so weak. She wanted to slap herself and tell herself not to cry, not to show her pain. "Sion… he just killed him. Brutally. He just brutally cut him limb from limb."

She felt dizzy again, like she had when she had woken up. She wanted to go back in time, save Atton, and get angry with him for leaving the ship like the fool he was.

"_He cannot help but love you… it is a pure, ideal love he has for you…"_

Kreia's words were like a ghost haunting her. Sienna wondered if she would ever just leave her alone… no more voices, no more lectures, no more harsh facts.

"Mical…" she started tentatively, looking up into Mical's eyes (they were a pale blue), afraid of the answer to the question she was going to ask. She wasn't sure which answer she was afraid of though.

He nodded his head, waiting for the question to come. He seemed to know what she was going to ask. _Am I that obvious?_ She wondered. "Kreia… she said that…" she cut herself off, sighing. She sat up straighter, tucking her wet hair behind her ears and looking down at the floor, away from Mical's curious eyes. "She said that you loved me," she finished, rather quietly.

She was half expecting Mical to ask her to repeat herself, since she had spoken so quietly, she was surprised when he answered her question. "Yes," he said simply. "She's right. I do."

Sienna wasn't sure what to do in response. Her heart leapt, in flattery, perhaps even in care, but she wasn't sure what to do. Did she love him? Perhaps… but it…

_Wasn't the same way you felt for Atton?_

No, she cut herself off quickly.

_You're lying._

She ignored the voices in her head, and seemed to show them who was 'boss' by leaning forward, grabbing Mical's anxious looking face, and planting a kiss on him. He seemed surprised at first, but soon enough, both stood from their sitting positions, still embraces. His hands reached around her waist, holding her tightly, but not too much so. Her arms moved from his face to the back of his neck, ruffling up his hair slightly.

_You wish this was Atton don't you?_

No, she lied to herself again. I prefer that it's Mical. He's a much better person than Atton. He's better than Atton.

_More lies._

XxXxX

So, new fic, new ideas, this one isn't going to be very long most likely, just a little random idea. Obviously, this contains the cut footage of Atton's death as a part of it. And also, obviously, my Exile is a Light Side Female. Anyways, I hope you guys enjoy it so far and will stay tuned for more! Feedback is always appreciated, but no flames and only _constructive _criticism. Thanks! XD

9-21-05


	2. Chapter Two

_Disclaimer: Still not mine! I promise you it's not mine!_

XxXxX

**Chapter Two**

XxXxX

Mical was naïve. As the Exile kissed him, he believed everything she was telling herself. He believed that perhaps she cared for him as he did for her. Mical was also blissfully ignorant of Atton's previous feelings for Sienna, as he had not been on Malachor V to hear his dying words.

Perhaps it wasn't a very Jedi thing to do, but Mical did not lie to himself, he enjoyed the closeness of Sienna, the feeling of her so near and open to him. He had once been an innocent child, not very long ago. His journey with the Exile had shed some darkness onto his pure mind, thinking only of the light… he had never known of the darkness as he had seen in the past few months.

He was still rather innocent, in a sense, and still himself. And he was worried. Mical didn't know why he was worried, but something told him that he should be. A feeling like a shiver in the middle of the night plagued him momentarily.

But all was forgotten soon enough.

XxXxX

As Sienna Vaas awoke in the med bay the following morning, she recalled the previous evening, and found herself drawn to either crying or smiling. She honestly wasn't sure what she thought anymore. Kreia's words would always run through her mind, corrupting what she was thinking until it was her own voice that Sienna heard.

Within an hour, Sienna had left Mical where he lay and found herself sipping a mug of caffa in the main hold. Mira came in and spotting Sienna, smirked.

"You lied to me," the bounty hunter stated, sitting down across the room.

Sienna scrunched up her brow. "What did I lie to you about?"

A chuckle escaped the redhead's lips and she leaned back in her chair, a knowing look in her eye. "You and the Disciple? You said there was nothing there."

_There is nothing there,_ explained one of the voices.

Yes there is, a second demanded.

Sienna shook her head. "I don't really wish to talk about it."

Mira quirked an eyebrow. "What was he bad or something?" Sienna almost spit out her caffa, but held a straight face anyways. She had difficulty not reliving the previous evening… and she didn't really want to. Not right now. Everything was too confusing.

"Do you know how much longer until we reach Telos?" the blonde asked.

Mira thought to herself that she would bother asking more later, but for now, she nodded and answered Sienna's question. "Bao-Dur said that we'll be just a couple more hours, probably by late afternoon we'll get there. Speaking of Bao-Dur, he's been meaning to talk to you… I had to caution him to stay away last night."

Sienna cringed, avoiding looking at Mira, not wanting to see what the latter meant (though she already knew). Finishing off her caffa and setting down the empty mug, she stood up and nodded to Mira. "I'll go see him then."

"And you kids behave!" Mira teased, but the words stung Sienna as she walked towards the cockpit.

Unconsciously, she prepared herself to see someone sitting in the pilot's chair that wasn't Atton. She prepared herself, without even realizing what she was doing, thinking she was only nervous about seeing Bao-Dur. But a piece of her knew that it would sting her worse than a kinrath when she didn't see Atton in the cockpit, and someone else in his place.

And there he was. Bao-Dur was leaning back in the co-pilot's chair, not the pilot's chair, snoring very lightly, his head leaning against a wall. T3-M4 stood near the door to the cockpit and beeped irately when Sienna walked into him.

"SorryT3," she said quietly, trying not to wake the sleeping Zabrak up. But the damage had been done, and T3's beeps as he left the cockpit weren't needed; Bao-Dur was already awake.

"Yes General?" the Iridonian greeted Sienna. The latter sighed quietly, knowing she couldn't not talk to Bao-Dur now. He was a good listener and a good friend.

"Mira said that you wanted to talk to me," she said simply, sitting down in the pilot's seat. It felt a bit weird to be sitting there, in Atton's seat. When she had talked to him, or argued with him, she had always sat in the co-pilot's chair. But Bao-Dur was sitting there now.

Bao-Dur gave her a small friendly smile. "Yes, I wanted to know that you are alright." Upon further observation, Sienna noted that the Zabrak wasn't in such perfect condition himself. He had a few cuts on his face, and one of his horns looks like it had been chipped. He surely had other scratches and bruises from the crash on his body. Mical did.

_I don't want to think about it!_

What would you rather think about then? Holding a dying man in your arms, hearing the fool say he loved you?

_I don't know, I just don't want to think anymore!_

"General?"

Sienna was shaken out of her inner turmoil by Bao-Dur's voice and she nodded. "I'm fine," she told him reassuringly. "A few scratches, bumps, bruises, those sort of things, but outside of that I'm fine."

She knew he hadn't been asking about her physical health, but if she could avoid this conversation, she would. She had already had one breakdown the previous evening, making her feel weak and inadequate. She never liked herself when she let her weaknesses show. And nowadays, she simply didn't like herself very much.

It was so easy not to notice the tears resurfacing.

"General? Are you sure you're alright?" Sienna shook her head. She couldn't lie to Bao-Dur like she could to Mical or Mira. All three were her friends, but Bao-Dur was so perceptive of what she was thinking, she knew that he didn't need the Force to read her mind.

He leaned back in the co-pilot's chair and closed his eyes again. Sienna began sniffling.

"You know, he came to me once, for advice," the Zarbrak said indifferently. "He wondered how he would have fared with you. He asked me about his chances with you. T3 was there, he laughed at… him." _It's difficult for anyone to say his name in front of me, isn't it? Is it so obvious my feelings for him?_

I don't have any feelings for him. None whatsoever.

"He insisted he was being serious… and now I guess he was being serious." Sienna quieted and looked over at Bao-Dur. "I think we all have lost something at Malachor V. I lost my Remote, Mira lost her family, but you've lost the most. You lost… him.

"And now you are making time with the Disciple. I have to ask why you are doing this. I know that you know that you don't love him." Sienna's eyes were drying up, for which she was glad, but as soon as Bao-Dur spoke so knowledgeably and so wisely and so truly, the tears reappeared.

"I do," she said quietly, trying to convince both Bao-Dur and herself. "I… I didn't love Atton. And I do love Mical."

Bao-Dur knew she wasn't telling the truth. But she was stubborn, he knew this as well. Nodding his head, he turned back towards the Exile. "Just remember, be honest with yourself and you won't hurt anyone. And general… don't hurt yourself."

Nodding silently, Sienna dried her eyes again and headed towards the exit of the cockpit. Making sure Mira had left the main hold, Sienna passed through and enclosed herself in the engine room. It was peaceful in there, and no one but T3 ever wanted to enter.

Here she would meditate, try and find the truth, until they reached Telos.

But she didn't find any truth, only more confusion. All of Kreia's words replayed themselves in Sienna's mind, Bao-Dur's look of concern, Mira's look of knowingness, Mical's look of love and Atton's look as he died… they all meshed together in the end. Until finally they reached Telos.

Bao-Dur's voice came over the loudspeaker and Sienna barely paid any attention as she unlocked the door and headed into the main hold to buckle up for the landing. She stayed silent, and avoided eye contact with any of the others, Mira, Mical and Visas, all present in the main hold. Clearing her mind worked for the time being… and it would keep her from thinking too hard.

XxXxX

"Thank you again Admiral," Sienna said once again. Admiral Carth Onasi stood before the group consisting of Sienna, Bao-Dur, Mical, Mira, Visas, T3, HK and Mandalore.

"It is nothing Exile," the Admiral replied with a smile. "Your group deserves the finest quarters until you set off to wherever you are going." He looked over the group. "I am sure many of you would be an asset to the Republic, and we hope perhaps you may stay on Citadel Station with us and help rebuild Telos."

"I would be honored to assist, Admiral," Bao-Dur told him kindly. Admiral Onasi smiled at the Zabrak and looked over the group once more. Sienna observed that he flinched every time he spotted HK.

"I think we are all tired and should like some rest," Visas commented, cutting into the silence.

Sienna bowed to the Admiral and her fellow Jedi followed suit. As the Jedi and the droids left the office, Mandalore stayed behind. "You are staying?" Sienna asked the man.

"I've got a discussion with the Admiral," he replied gruffly. "I will be leaving for Dxun in the morning, however, so I suppose this is goodbye Exile. I was honored to be serving with you."

"And I with you," the Exile replied with a smile and a bow. Mandalore had been a worthy comrade, holding himself up in the heat of battle and never swaying. She would miss him as a friend… but she wondered what he was speaking with the Admiral about. However, she could not eavesdrop. She followed the others out of the office, the doors shutting behind her.

A serving droid in the complex led the five Jedi and two droids into a turbolift and down a few corridors until they arrived at two luxurious suites. Inside the suites, comfortable furniture and beautiful artwork decorated the rooms, colorful and original. Sienna smiled at the simple sight of such beauty.

"I guess the Telosians go all out for their guests, eh?" Mira commented.

"You are honored guests," informed the serving droid, J5-89. "And I will be your serving droid during your stay on Citadel Station. If you need anything at all, please, let me know and I will retrieve it for you."

"Thank you, but we are fine," Sienna said, and the serving droid left the group.

"I suppose we're doing this girl/boy?" Mira asked, jerking a thumb at the two different rooms. Sienna shrugged. "It makes sense, I suppose." Sharing a room with Mical was probably the last thing she wanted right now, but being reminded of the previous night by Mira over and over again may be a downgrade.

Sienna did feel tired, though she had woken only hours ago. It was late evening on Telos, however, and so she felt Visas had been right when she mentioned sleep.

"I'll take this bed, I suppose," Sienna said, setting down her pack on a comfy looking deep crimson bed, covered in rich black sheets and pillows.

Mira shrugged fairly and took a second bed, identical to Sienna's, in a small separate room. Visas mimicked the movements, and soon enough both women were asleep. Sienna, however, was having more trouble.

_You wish Atton were here… then perhaps it would feel like the victory Admiral Onasi had made it out to be._

I don't need Atton! I don't need anyone! I am perfectly fine!

_You lie. You keep lying!_

Ripping the sheets off her bed, the Telosian sun having set beneath the horizon hours ago, Sienna grabbed her outer robe and slipped it on over her undergarments. _Where are you going Sienna? Going to find consoling with Mical? You will only hurt him and yourself further. Going to speak with Bao-Dur? He will only bring you painful truths!_

I don't care what you say! I'm… I'm going to feel better in the end! I love Mical as he loves me!

_No you don't! You know you don't! Bao-Dur told you that you don't and he's right! Stop lying to yourself. Get back to sleep._

Sienna could no longer tell which voice was truly hers in her mind. Before it had seemed painfully obvious, but it no longer was. She felt like crying again, but why? Why did she want to cry? And why did she want to spend her nights with Mical.

_Because you wish he were Atton._

LIES!

And so Sienna spent a second night with Mical.

XxXxX

Ha! I was determined to finally finish this chapter, and here it is. Looking outward, I think this fic will probably be around six to ten chapters long, consisting of about a month or so between the beginning and the end. I am forming in my mind the plotline further, and so, I've got the idea grasped better. Anyways, as always, reviews are greatly welcomed, but flames are a no-no. I hope to update again within the month, but I've got no guarantees! I would hope to get this done by spring, but we shall see.

Review responses on my homepage! By the way, review responses for all fics will no longer be on but instead on my livejournal account just for my fics which will include updates on future updates, future fic ideas and plotlines, and of course, review responses.

11-13-05


	3. Chapter Three

_Disclaimer: As always, these characters do not belong to me, and I take no credit for any of this._

XxXxX

**Chapter Three**

XxXxX

Sienna awoke early the next morning and her senses immediately told her to leave the room she was in at once and get back to her bed. She knew that her companions all knew by now that she had slept with Mical, and this made it twice, but she still felt like a child who had done something wrong… almost as if she was back at the academy doing something like this.

_But you never did anything like this. You aren't like this Sienna. You would never sleep with a man you didn't love._

I do love him! I swear it, I do love him!

_You know you don't, and it's useless to lie. Remember what Bao-Dur said? Stop lying to yourself. You'll only hurt them._

The voices felt like they would always be plaguing her. Sienna wanted them to disappear; they made it so difficult to think straight. She sighed, relieved, once she arrived back in her room. The Telosian sun was beginning to rise, a beautiful shimmer reflecting onto the suite's windows. Sienna decided to not bother going back to sleep and headed straight for the 'fresher.

She felt so much more relaxed after exited the 'fresher and throwing on some of the comfortable garments stowed away in the dresser near Sienna's bed. She was just beginning to put her Jedi robes on over top when a knock came from the door.

"Just a moment," she called quietly, hoping that she wouldn't wake Mira or Visas. Pulling her hair back in a quick and short ponytail, she slipped on the robe and opened the door. It was the serving droid, J5-89. "Yes?"

"Excuse me, Mistress Vaas," J5-89 said, "But the Admiral requested that you visit him as soon as possible. He is sorry to call you in so early in the morning, but wished to speak with you. Is now a good time?"

Sienna stood still for a moment, wondering whatever the Admiral wanted to see her about, before nodding to J5-89. "Now is fine."

J5-89 turned around and began walking away from her door. "Just follow me, Mistress Vaas." Sienna did follow the droid throughout a few corridors and a turbolift before arriving back at Admiral Onasi's office. J5-89 knocked softly on the door. "Come in," called a gruff voice. Sienna opened the door and entered. J5-89 said something about staying in the hallway to lead Sienna back to her suite after the meeting was over.

After Sienna gave the Admiral a graceful bow, he motioned to a seat in front of the desk he was currently standing behind. During the walk to the office, Sienna pondered why he would want to talk to her. _Does he want to know more about Revan? Does he want to know if I'll be going after her? Does he want my help with something?_

"Miss Vaas, I am sorry to call you in so early, but I am very busy being back on Telos and wasn't sure if I would have the time to speak with you later today," Admiral Onasi greeted her. Both sat down in their respective seats.

"It is alright Admiral," Sienna replied, raising a hand in objection. "I was awake already. Now, what is it that you needed me for?"

The Admiral paused for a moment. Sienna wondered how he would react to her. She had seen him practically broken, when she first met him, and jubilant the night before, but what now? _He has lost someone he loved, just as you have… do not judge his sadness._

I did not love him!

"First of all, Miss Vaas, you may call me Carth," Admiral Onasi stated with a small smile.

"Then I insist you call me Sienna," countered the Exile, a similar smile playing on her lips.

How long has it been since I smiled? Will I ever smile, a real smile, again?

_Stop being so dramatic. You'll smile again. Plus, doesn't love make you smile? Doesn't Mical make you smile._

It was painful for the other voice to admit that Mical did not make her smile… not really.

"Fair enough," Carth answered, raising both hands in defeat, the smile still on his face. "But onto the reason I called you here. As much as the Jedi appear to be despised throughout the galaxy… I personally would like to see them return. And it seems to me that Citadel Station is hosting five Jedi as guests already."

Sienna sighed sadly. "The Jedi Order is gone. I know of only one living Jedi Master."

Carth quirked his head to one side. "Oh… I am certain there are more. I myself know of three Jedi Knights who would certainly be willing to restart the Jedi Order." Sienna scrunched her eyebrows up in confusion. "Remember the tale I told you, only days ago, of my travels with Revan? Remember our companions? The Jedi are still around… and willing to help. They are simply in hiding.

"Once the Jedi Civil War ended, no one wanted to be a Jedi, it was too dangerous and too frowned upon as a result of the Jedi Civil War," Carth explained. "I am sorry to say that Jolee Bindo is no longer among us, but Bastila Shan, Juhani and my own son, Dustil Onasi, are three Jedi that I know of, and are located in hiding. All on Coruscant."

Sienna's eyebrows stayed scrunched up. "But what will make them return now?"

Carth smiled again. "You." Sienna's eyes bugged out in obvious confusion and Carth laughed. "The Jedi have given greatly to the galaxy in the past few months since you returned to Republic space and nobody can overlook that, especially after the ceremony where you and your companions will be awarded for the defeat of three Sith Lords and saving Citadel Station from certain doom."

"But… why give us awards? It won't do any good?"

"On quite the contrary, making someone look good in public is a very good thing," Carth replied, still smiling. His eyes, crinkled at the edges, showed his tiredness and age. "Revan herself, after receiving an award, wasn't wanted in as many sectors as she was before." His eyes darkened suddenly, and Sienna could obviously guess that he was remembering Revan.

But soon enough the brightness returned. "Alright, I suppose," Sienna responded with a small nod. "If it will help the Jedi and help the Jedi start over anew, I will assist. And I am sure that my companions and I would be very willing to help out on Telos in any way that you wish."

"Two of your companions have already served Telos and the Republic and hopefully will continue to do so." _Bao-Dur and Mical._

Thinking of her friends, she thought of the previous night, and trying to forget about Mical once more, remembered Mandalore and remembered that he had left for Dxun. "Admiral, you don't mind that the Mandalorians are rebuilding themselves?" Sienna asked, quite surprised.

Carth chuckled. "It happens to be that the Mandalorian that serving along with Revan and I after her memory wipe happens to be the current Mandalore, so you could say that I am partial to the man. He did save our lives a fair few times." Sienna smiled. She was glad to see that such friendships would not be broken by belief or race.

"Is that all you wanted Admiral?" Sienna asked Carth.

He nodded and Sienna rose from her chair and headed towards the exit of the office until Admiral Onasi's voice broke into her movements, freezing her for the moment. She turned around and looked at him.

"You… did you know Revan when you were younger? As Jedi before the Wars?" Sienna nodded. "Were you friends?" Sienna nodded again, a few choice memories of their childhoods breaking into her mind. "And you served closely with her during the Wars?" Sienna nodded once more. "Do you remember anything about why she left to go into the Unknown Regions the first time?"

Sienna paused, trying to recall anything to give to Admiral Onasi. Even if it was false hope, she wanted more than anything right now, seeing the dead expression playing in Carth's eyes, to reassure this man that Revan was doing something worthwhile… and that she'd be back.

"Not a clue," Sienna replied mournfully. It was the answer she hadn't wanted to give… but it was the truth. Carth nodded sadly, trying to give her a smile, but he only looked more pitiful. Sienna gave him a last bow of her head before being led back to her suite by J5-89.

_Now why can you tell Admiral Onasi the truth and not yourself?_

It's not that easy.

XxXxX

"He's giving us awards? Sounds like a gimmick."

Sienna half smirked at Mira's remarks as they sat in the living area of their suite along with Visas, Mical and Bao-Dur. "It is a gimmick, just one that will work in our favor," she commented.

"He believes that more Jedi will join us if we show ourselves to be Jedi and that we did good things for the galaxy?" Visas asked, Sienna nodded. "And Admiral Onasi himself knows of a few Jedi who would be willing to join a new Jedi Order?" Sienna nodded again.

"The Admiral has cracked," Mira remarked, taking a swig of caffa that was in her hands.

"I think we should do it," suggested Mical. "I am sure I was not the only Jedi Padawan who did not end up as a Knight, and I am sure that many others would want to join the Order."

_This is like a dream._

It seems so odd… having a Jedi Order and being one of those in charge? I've been shunted aside by the Masters for so long… but to be a Master myself?

_But what about finding Revan?_

In all honesty, it felt almost as if Sienna had made a promise to Admiral Onasi that she'd find Revan, even if she had never promised such a thing directly. It just seemed inevitable that she would find Revan eventually.

Soon enough the conversation directed itself away from the future award ceremony that Admircal Onasi was planning for them and veered over into other things and Sienna barely paid any attention. At times Mical would glance her way and she'd make sure to never look back. She did not want to see how much he truly cared for her when she did not feel the same way.

_Just tell him you don't love him!_

I do love him! I FRACKING DO!

_You know you don't. You loved Atton and he's gone and you have never loved Mical and you still don't. In the end you will be hurting him and yourself. Stop this Sienna, before you hurt everyone you care about._

I do care about him!

_Then don't hurt him! Don't hurt him like this! Stop lying to him and stop lying to yourself._

Sienna's eyes was caught by a small one person ship taking off in the distance that she saw out of the suite window. It reminded her how much she should not be here. It told her that her place was not here, but out there finding Revan… and perhaps finding herself.

_You know who you are… you are simply lost for a moment!_

Now you are the one lying. You are truly lost. Kreia did well when she wormed her way into your mind and now you are lost.

_I'll find my way… but I won't find it with Mical._

Shaking her head, Sienna didn't notice that silence had befallen the conversation and all eyes were upon her. "General, are you alright?" Bao-Dur asked concerned. Sienna nodded and trying to look anywhere but at Bao-Dur she caught Mical's eyes and snapped.

He looked so young and innocent in his eyes. _I was probably his first. _His love for her was so evident and so pure… Kreia had been right when she described his love for her. Sienna felt like crying and admitting to Mical just how much she didn't love him and that all she wanted was Atton… all she truly wanted was Atton back and alive.

But all the lies she had told herself had taken their toll. And when she looked back at Mical it was a look of deceit… because it was a look of love.

XxXxX

Got this one done rather quickly! Yay! Review responses on my homepage again, and thank you guys for the kind reviews. I love writing this fic because it lets me be angsty and give off a very sad and depressing mood, so I'm glad other people love it too. Until next time!

11-14-05


	4. Chapter Four

_Disclaimer: KotOR and all related characters, plotlines, places and etcetera etcetera don't belong to me, but to other people that are not me._

XxXxX

**Chapter Four**

XxXxX

Sienna's hair whipped around her solemn face as a ship descended onto the landing platform. Standing beside the Exile were Admiral Onasi, Visas, Mical, Bao-Dur, Mira and the Republic Senate's Chancellor, Viatriz, with her entourage, all situated to welcome the arriving Jedi, coming from Coruscant to Telos.

The hair flipping around in every direction was a bit irritating to Sienna, but she ignored it, trying to keep focused on the arriving Jedi and not on Mical who consistently looked her way. Bao-Dur shot her concerned looks every now and then, but everybody else seemed solely focused on the arriving shuttle. Sienna couldn't be distracted right now. She knew all it took was a tiny push to make her teeter off the edge of all rationality.

She wasn't going to take the chance.

Luckily enough, the exit ramp of the ship lowered and almost immediately once it lowered, a young and rather attractive looking man wearing brown Jedi robes, approximately in his early twenties, walked off the ship. He looked almost exactly like Admiral Onasi except for the lack of stubble and his lean figure in opposition to Carth's rather muscular one. _Like Atton in proportion to Mical…_

Fracking shut up and FOCUS!

It was easy enough to presume - especially from the fatherly hug Admiral Onasi greeted the young man with - that this was his son Dustil. The Chancellor shook his hand firmly and Dustil began shaking the hands of each of her entourage, a Jedi smile on his face.

Following Dustil off the ship was a feline creature Sienna recognized at once as a Cathar. _Those are rather rare…_ This Jedi was Juhani. She sported a serene face and a small diplomatic smile, but it shone in her eyes that she was truly happy to be able to show herself in public as a Jedi. She wore deep blue Jedi robes and her hair in a topknot. She followed Dustil's maneuvers and began with shaking Admiral Onasi's hand.

Last of the Jedi off the ship was a much shorter woman, in opposition to Dustil and Juhani's height. She had pale porcelain skin and deep chestnut hair in pigtails framing her calm face. She wore deep brown robes, like Dustil's. Her deep blue eyes looked lost, differentiating from her the small smile that played at her lips. This was Bastila Shan, and the sorrow in her eyes almost reminded Sienna of her own.

Sienna was so wrapped up in observing Bastila that she didn't notice Dustil had made his way over to her and was waiting to shake her hand. "Master Vaas?" he asked, whipping Sienna out of her thoughts.

She smiled to herself, imagining how odd it was to be called a master and shook Dustil's hand. "It is a pleasure to meet you," she told the young man. Dustil nodded kindly. "The same to you Master Vaas."

Juhani and Bastila both took their turns down the line, shaking each person's hands, ending with Sienna as Dustil had done and then standing with the rest of the Jedi.

"So, this is everyone?" asked Chancellor Viatriz. Admiral Onasi nodded to her. "Excellent! Now, shall we go indoors and get further acquainted and speak of our upcoming event?" As Chancellor Viatriz led her entourage inside, her bodyguard two paces ahead of her, the Jedi and Admiral Onasi followed inside. Sienna couldn't help but smile to herself as she watched father and son speak quietly to each other. Carth seemed to be fussing over Dustil's thinness.

Once the group had reentered the building, Admiral Onasi led them to the conference room, gesturing to each office door as they passed with a small biography of who was behind it. Chancellor Viatriz looked mildly interested, clearly making mental notes here and there when she heard Carth mention something of interest. After about fifteen minutes, they arrived in the conference room and each took a seat around a rather large glass round table in the center of which stood a holographic device.

Silence pierced through the room for a few moments before Chancellor Viatriz started the meeting. "So… these are the Jedi, eh?" she said, looking rather excited to have this meeting underway. "I am sorry, but I do not know your names." She gave a small gesture before turning towards Dustil with her spherical purple eyes.

"Dustil Onasi, ma'am," he said in the same tone he had used with Sienna. The Exile noted that he seemed almost as if he was used to such meetings with important people by now. Of course, his father was Admiral Onasi, and having a military father, he would have gotten used to such things after a while.

Chancellor Viatriz's eyes turned onto Bastila next and she did not hesitate in stating her name. "Ah… one of Revan's companions, are you not?" the Chancellor asked and Bastila nodded, the same lost look returning to her eyes.

Sienna had difficulty paying attention for the next few moments, looking at Bastila's deep blue eyes and wondering why that woman had such a foreign look in her eyes and what would make her so saddened.

Mical had said his name next, followed by Juhani (in a similar manner to Bastila's greeting), Visas, Mira and Bao-Dur until the Chancellor's eyes laid themselves onto Sienna.

"The Exile?" Chancellor Viatriz asked, before Sienna even got a chance to state her name.

"Sienna Vaas, actually," Sienna told the woman. "But yes, I am known by some as the Exile."

"I am sorry, Master Vaas, you must forgive me," said the Chancellor in a solemn tone, closing her eyes momentarily before looking back up. "I am so used to knowing you as the Exile that I forget that you have an actual name. It is such as those who are used to referring to me as ma'am and Chancellor that forget my name is Malleri Viatriz instead of the former titles."

Sienna couldn't help but smile at this woman slightly; having about three people between herself and Mical made her feel a bit more relaxed, especially now that the young man had his eyes on the Chancellor instead of the Exile. The Chancellor was tapped on the shoulder by one of her entourage and she began whispering to him for a few moments. Mical's eyes still lay on her, admiration shining.

Sienna wouldn't have been surprised if Mical had been attracted to her. She was naturally quite beautiful and even though she appeared in her early fifties she still possessed a thin and elegant figure, draped in numerous layers of deep crimson and gold and her deep brown hair wrapped up on her head in an elaborate bun. But she could tell that his admiration for her only lie in her position, grace and leadership.

_What? You feel no jealousy?_

Of course I'm jealous! I'm just keeping my emotions cool.

_Funny, I feel no jealousy. If that were Atton…_

Atton would have been eyeing her lecherously had he been in Mical's position.

_And you would feel jealous._

Shut up! I need to focus!

_Stop lying to yourself…_

But Sienna shook her head and the two consistently arguing voices vanished again and as she looked round at Mical his eyes had trailed back onto her. Inwardly, one voice cursed while the other smiled. Sienna satisfied for looking quickly back at Chancellor Viatriz who was now nodding and smiling her head at the same member of her entourage as she had been before.

"I am sorry," she informed the group. "My advisor here wanted to let me know the smartest tactic for dealing with Jedi." She let loose a hearty laugh. "As if I haven't been around Jedi before during my years as Chancellor. I've been at this for twenty five years! I was Chancellor during the Mandalorian and Jedi Civil Wars! I know how to deal with Jedi."

Everyone around the table smiled slightly and the advisor looked rather embarrassed. "I forgive him, however, as he is my newly appointed advisor, and has only been with me for about three standard weeks." A small chuckle escaped her ruby red lips.

"Anyways, as I was about to say, Admiral Onasi has filled me in on the same plan he filled the Ex- I mean Master Vaas, in on, and I find it quite brilliant to bring forth Master Vaas here as the shining light of the Jedi Order to do redeem all the Jedi in the galaxy. All you Jedi here have to do is accept a few rewards and smile and wave a lot, just like I normally do." She laughed heartily again. "The award ceremony will take place the day after tomorrow, giving you time to practice your winning smiles.

"To clear things up, the Jedi may not immediately be welcomed back into the galaxy." Chancellor Viatriz instantly seemed to lose her facetious manner and her purple eyes stopping shining as her smile vanished. "I do not think it safe to reopen the Jedi Temple immediately nor begin recruiting Jedi. I think it best to do this ceremony as a ploy to draw out the hidden Jedi, to show them that they are safe, and to bring them to Coruscant. From there, the Jedi will decide their own future, as I personally know the rest of the galaxy cannot determine."

The room was silent again as the Chancellor brought her eyes up to each of the Jedi, making sure that she could see in their eyes that they understood. From Dustil, to Bastila, to Mical, Juhani, Visas, Mira, Bao-Dur and finally Sienna. Purple met blue and Sienna tried her best to conceal the misplaced feeling she held in her eyes, but she was sure Chancellor Viatriz caught it. But neither woman acknowledged it and the gaze shattered as the Chancellor turned back to Admiral Onasi, the same smile she wore before, that of a child, returned.

"I am sure you will make all the arrangements Admiral Onasi," she told him kindly and Carth nodded respectively. "Excellent. Now, I must be going. I told the Senate about this decision only a yesterday and I am sure they are not done yelling at the supporters and myself about it yet." She chuckled again and rose from her seat, her entourage, the Jedi and Admiral Onasi following. "Good day all." She took a look out the window at the bright Telosian sky. "It truly is a beautiful morning," she declared. As she left the conference room everybody remaining bowed low until the door swung shut behind her.

"Pleasant woman," Mical stated, watching the door as it shut.

"Chancellor Viatriz is a kind woman," Admiral Onasi agreed. "Though some see that as a weakness. Especially those who believed the Mandalorian Wars began too late. They blamed it on her patience. Just as people are declaring her insane for this decision to bring the Jedi back.

"However, she became Chancellor at only twenty seven years old, became senator of Coruscant at twenty and owned multiple political positions beforehand on Coruscant since she turned thirteen. She is greatly respected by the people and is a role model to many." His eyes flickered onto Mical for a split second before he turned to Sienna. "Are you prepared to go through this?" She and he both passed through a sudden understanding that he was asking more than was obvious. It seemed almost as if he could tell she was unstable and confused out of her wits. But Sienna nodded and Bao-Dur next to her smiled comfortingly.

"Alright, you may return to your quarters, and bring Bastila, Juhani and Dustil with you; they'll be sharing the rooms with you…" Carth did some quick math in his head however and shook it. "I doubt there will be room in the women's suite, however, so ask J5-89 to open up the suite next door for Bastila and Juhani to share. They've been in tighter quarters before," he added with a small smile and a wink. Juhani and Bastila both smiled politely though Bastila's looked more like a grimace. The Jedi all stood and bowed as the aforementioned droid entered the room and Admiral Onasi saluted to them.

However, as they left, he tugged at Bastila and asked to speak with him for a few moments before she left. J5-89 led the group, now accompanied with Juhani and Dustil. Mical seemed downright fascinated with Juhani.

"You are a Cathar?" he asked her and she nodded. "I wasn't sure there were many of them left."

Juhani nodded again and said quietly, almost like a purr, "Not many of my people survived the Mandalorian attack on Cathar." Bitterness rested beneath her tone but she whispered soothingly to herself and it vanished as she continued. "There are many rare species in the galaxy, however." She glanced at Visas. "I did not know any Miraluka still lived."

Visas nodded silently and did not turn back to face Juhani and Mical. "Yes… a sad fact." Sienna could hear the same emotions in Visas' voice, speaking of the death of her species as Juhani did speaking of hers. Sienna frowned, saddened by the fact that she was surrounded by two people of dying breeds both of whom were part of another dying breed.

Sienna couldn't lie, she was deathly afraid the Jedi would die once she and her companions did. This was one reason why she was very glad of Admiral Onasi's plan to bring the Jedi back into the limelight: the Jedi could live on and perhaps even thrive.

_But what about Revan? What about the unknown threat? The Jedi cannot live on if there is always a looming threat of evil beyond the known regions._

There will always be a looming threat. It is just as Kreia said, the true battle is the war that wages in our hearts between light and dark, good and evil. The dark side can never truly be sent away.

_But cannot its followers?_

Then we seek to destroy all living things.

XxXxX

Ah… almost one in the morning as I finish this and I really should be working on homework about now. But homework can wait, I haven't updated this in weeks and this chapter has been lying around for a while now, waiting to be finished. Anyways, review responses will be posted up on my homepage (livejournal) where you can also read a piece written for MissCora from kfm about our favorite smutty sithlings from my RP on kotorfanmedia's JJT. But only read if you can tolerate man-whores, lots of smut, two times the slash and sithling mischief.

Haha, now you're all frightened of me. But anyways, the next update might be a little while, I'm going to be VERY busy this coming week and have little time to write, Heck, I had little time to write this past couple weeks either! But anyways, I always GREATLY appreciate the reviews so kudos to you guys! Until next time… lots of love from RPD!

12-4-05


	5. Chapter Five

_Disclaimer: Again, most of these characters and the story I am basing this fic off of are not mine… and I accept it. I don't need therapy thank you very much. _

XxXxX

**Chapter Five**

XxXxX

The atmosphere seemed rather depressed as the two groups split and entered their respective suites. Juhani and Bastila were both silent as they departed from Sienna, Mira and Visas while Mical, Bao-Dur and Dustil all went into the third suite. Sienna sat down on her bed silently and watched as Mira paced and Visas walked into the other room.

Soon enough, however, the other Jedi were knocking on the door and walked in, all the other five.

"I think we should get further acquainted," Mical reasoned as he took a seat on the bed next to Sienna, but she did not want to be so close to him right now. She stood up and ended up standing next to Bastila Shan. Sienna accidentally trod on the woman's foot but Bastila didn't seem to notice.

"I'm sorry, are you alright?" spoke Sienna, a bit frightened she had made a bad first impression. She was already quite certain that Dustil thought she was insane for not shaking his hand immediately when he appeared in front of her.

Bastila seemed to notice a few seconds later that Sienna had stepped on her. She looked down at her foot and then looked back up at Sienna, a polite smile on her face. "It's quite alright."

"No but…" Sienna felt lost for words for a moment. She glanced around at the group around them and suddenly decided what she had wanted to talk to this woman about could not be stated in front of such an apt audience. Sienna wanted to ask so much. She wanted to ask how well Bastila had known Revan, what had happened to Revan, and why Bastila looked as lost as Sienna felt and so much more.

With a meaningful glance at Bastila, Sienna spoke to the room that she wanted some air and she walked away from the group over to the windows. Visas still wasn't in the room, however, and nobody else seemed to pay much attention while Sienna walked over to the window and Bastila soon followed. Only Bao-Dur's eyes followed them, noticing the same things Sienna herself had noticed in Bastila, understanding what was going on, and he struck up conversation with the other Jedi, talking of tedious things, knowing that whatever conversation Bastila and Sienna would have he would not understand… not quite the same way.

Sienna didn't notice Bao-Dur watching them during those moments though and opened the window, feeling the cool wind of the Telosian air. A speeder flew by and Sienna welcomed the breeze, flinging up against her face and blowing through her hair. It was relaxing, almost a form of meditation.

She closed her eyes and saw the Dantooine plains. Dantooine was such a wondrous planet, beautiful and calming. It had been such a treat to leave Coruscant and be on Dantooine for her Jedi training… but recalling Dantooine brought back more recent memories and to ignore them, Sienna whipped her eyes open and found them focusing on Bastila Shan.

"Yes?" Just a single word seemed to tell Sienna everything she had wanted to hear. She heard the distraught tones, the feeling of loss and loneliness, and all the pain Bastila must have been feeling at that instant through those words.

But there was still the question of why.

"Why do you look as lost as I feel, Bastila?" Sienna asked and once she said it aloud she noted the brazenness of the question. "I am sorry, but I am quite curious. Since I have seen you not long over an hour ago you have shadowed my exact pain. I… I feel so lost and broken right now. I'm here but I don't understand a thing going on around me. I see my friends, but I can't talk to them anymore. I feel the presence of the Force, but I feel so lost to it, different than it felt before, before it felt like it was strengthening every moment, and now… now it simply feels like it's there but I've forgotten how it works. Like I've lost the instructions."

Sienna paused and Bastila stuttered, apparently shocked that someone would have the nerve to ask her about her emotions. "Jedi aren't supposed to feel, are they?" Sienna asked, continuing her speech. "But… but I think I loved him. And I never told him. And he died in my arms, he died right there as I held him on Malachor and I didn't say a single word. I just went on. Did that happen to you Bastila? Did you hold your tongue when you felt you shouldn't have? Did you lose a dear friend and someone you care deeply for in a split second? I… I really want to know why you seem so broken, Bastila, because you look just as I probably do to an observer."

Sienna had been speaking quite fast, but Bastila appeared to have heard every word and her bright blue eyes, so similar to Sienna's not only in shape and color but in everything they showed, turned away towards the open window and Sienna continued her staring.

"Yes…" Bastila whispered, such a quiet whisper Sienna thought she might have imagined it before Bastila looked up at her again and nodded. "I know I shouldn't have held my tongue. I… I did not love Revan as you loved whoever it is you did, Exile, but she was a dear friend and… we shared a bond. A bond that was formed when I saved her life. She was like my sister… she _is_ like my sister for she is still alive, I know it. The bond… she cut it off when she left. And that is what hurts the most. You see, when you live with someone, with such a bond with someone for two years it feels like a lifetime and when it is gone in an instant, I felt like I had died. Part of me had died. And then… she left. She left without even telling me. She gave that honor to only Carth."

Bastila seemed to spit out his name. "Carth is a dear friend as well… but he was her lover… and I was her sister! I was her sister! Not by blood, but by the same way that I would call Juhani my sister and you would call your companions your brothers and sisters! But she did not care that she had left me in the dark… that she, who had done so much for me while irritating me so much, had left me behind to live in the shadows. Once Revan left known space, everybody hated the Jedi again. Carth sent his son with Juhani, Jolee and I into the shadows… and the poor old man… he died in the dark down there, on the bottom scum of Coruscant.

"He may not have been the noblest man, but he did not deserve to die as he did. He had much longer to live. The galaxy had made its decision, however, and until your return it was safe for no Jedi to show their true colors." Bastila sighed and she seemed to have difficulty holding back tears.

"Forgive me, Exile," she said quietly, calming herself down. "I have shared these feelings with no one… but it seems almost as if you and I are in the same boat here. We are both lost and the ones we loved have abandoned us, in whatever sense that is." Bastila gave a small smile which Sienna returned. "Juhani does not understand as I do… you see… she loved Revan dearly, closer than as a sister, but Revan turned to Carth instead, and so you see there is some bitterness in her love for Revan… some resentment."

Sienna nodded and watched Bastila's face fall down to the floor. Sienna placed a hand on Bastila's shoulder, however. "My name is Sienna," she said in low tones, not threatening in the least, but caringly.

Bastila seemed ready to sob and she did, just a bit, before looking back up at Sienna a few minutes later. "Why is it so easy for me to tell you everything that is hurting me when I have known you for so little time?" she asked, her voice breaking but no more tears coming from her eyes.

"Because we are alike, Bastila, and perhaps the fact that we have known each other for so little time helps us. We can't judge each other as we do not know each other yet." Bastila nodded at Sienna's reasoning. Her face looked brighter now. As if she had gotten a heavy burden off her chest. Sienna was sure she probably looked the same.

She knew, in her heart, she felt so much gladder to have spoken to someone about this. She couldn't have talked to Bao-Dur, he knew too much about her to listen as Bastila did and Sienna wouldn't have talked to Mical, surely, or Mira for she would have not understood quite the same way and have comforted with jokes Sienna wasn't ready for. Visas perhaps might have understood, but Sienna felt strange talking to her, and was not sure she would be able to find the comfort she was looking for with a conversation with Visas.

Sienna and Bastila stood side by side for the next hour or so before lunch arrived, J5-89 knocking at the door, carrying food trays. Then the two blue-eyed Jedi rejoined the rest of the group, Sienna ignoring Mical's inquisitive looks. She would speak with him later. Not now. Probably tomorrow. Right now, Sienna wanted to gain back her sanity through conversation with people she hadn't been stuck together with in close quarters for the past months.

It wasn't as tense and did not have the same depressing air in the suite as it had been in the hallway outside. Visas had rejoined the group and time to time even she smiled when something funny had been said. Sienna had made a point to sit between Mira and Bastila since Mira would always be able to lighten the mood a bit and Bastila understood. She drank down her Corellian brandy with a smile on her face as Mira cracked another joke, Dustil beside her laughing heartily and Bao-Dur coming up with a similar joke he had heard during the Mandalorian Wars.

"Bao-Dur, you are horrible," Mira said, smiling. "The Mandalorians may have lost the Wars, but they had better versions of the jokes." She glanced over at Sienna. "I would have to say though, Sienna made a great first impression on them when we were on Dxun. 'I was thinking this would make a great place for a Czerka executive building' priceless Sienna!"

Sienna blushed, despite herself, trying to not drink her brandy while Mira was speaking, knowing that by the end of the sentence she'd be spitting it out with laughter.

It was a rather enjoyable atmosphere, in all, and Sienna felt rather glad that she had so many people around her. If she had been alone or was feeling alone she would've slipped back into internal arguments and Force knew those weren't healthy for her. Her subconscious had slipped back into tune with her conscious self and everything seemed righted for a few hours.

Dinnertime came and went and the sun set on Telos. It wasn't long before Visas retreated into her own room while Dustil and Bao-Dur returned to their suite and Bastila and Juhani went into theirs. Mira headed into the 'fresher… and Sienna was alone with Mical.

_Frack. Well, I have to talk to him sooner or later._

"Hi," Mical said, a bit awkwardly as Sienna stood up to put the brandy bottles away. "You have been regretting ever spending time alone with me, haven't you?"

Sienna froze in front of the cabinet. She wasn't sure what to tell him. She was sick of lying… but she didn't want to tell him the truth. She wasn't ready to tell him the truth. She didn't think he was ready to hear the truth. He couldn't have guessed it, it wasn't as observant as Mira, Visas or Bao-Dur who could read her easily these past few days.

"Um… Mical…" Sienna started, turning around to face him and she stopped instantly. He looked so young and innocent, she felt dirty and horrid for ever playing around with his emotions at that moment. She began rubbing her arms without noticing. He looked like an angel, handsome and pure, and she was a demon hurting him, taking away his innocence.

"I… I…" she couldn't finish a sentence and this annoyed her greatly. Sienna was The Exile, she had regained her connection to the Force, taken on four grown Padawans, conquered three Sith Lords and all their minions and yet she couldn't admit to the man she had slept with that it was all a mistake.

_Times like this, I wish I had done a little more with Atton… that I hadn't just held him as he died and that was the closest intimacy we ever reached…_

How can you be thinking about that at a time like this?

_I don't want to hurt Mical._

You will only hurt him further if you never tell him.

_Now isn't the time! I can't tell him now! Neither of us are ready to talk about this._

When then? When will you tell him the truth, Sienna, you can't hide from him forever.

_Before I leave. I will tell him before I leave._

It was as these thoughts ran through Sienna's head the realization of her situation struck her. She was going to go after Revan in the end, but it wasn't time, not yet. The Force controlled all situations and the Force would guide her on this. She would know when it was time, just as when she would know it was time to tell Mical everything.

She looked back over at Mical. "I can't answer your question yet Mical," she said earnestly. "I promise you though; I don't want to hurt you because you are my dear friend… I'm just really confused right now. When I'm done being insane, I'll tell you the truth… I'll stop lying to you."

Mical nodded, seemingly understanding but Sienna knew he was as confused right now as she was. It would fade away, however, and then she would tell him when the time was right and everything would be right. She would leave, she would find Revan, and she would go from there.

It seemed like this moment told her all about her destiny and her future, about how things would pan out in the coming time and how everything would be sorted out. She still didn't know how to tell Mical what she wanted to tell him or even what she did want to tell him, but Sienna left her faith in the Force to guide her, knowing that it would help her when she needed it,

She would wait.

Sienna felt Mical's kiss on her lips but did not return it or pay it any more attention than it deserved. She watched him leave the room and she watched as Mira came out of the 'fresher, seeing Sienna's face and not daring to say anything that might twist Sienna the wrong way.

_I really am going insane,_ she observed as she put away the last brandy bottle and crossed into the 'fresher where she stripped herself of her outer robes, hanging them up. She exited the 'fresher and crossed to her bed, lying down and covering herself with the comfortable blankets.

_They can all see it as well as I can see it. I am truly lost right now…_

But Sienna kept assuring herself in a quiet whisper that everything would solve itself and that everything would work out in the end. Inside, she truly hoped that things would work out and that the Force would help… because she truthfully had no idea what to do right now. She was more lost than she had thought she had been before.

XxXxX

So I was tempted to write something, I was in a writing mood today, and so I churned this chapter out. I was able to squeeze in a small Mical/Exile convo into this as well as the necessary Bastila/Exile conversation. So, thanks for the reviews everybody, they always make me happy, of course, and they make me wish I could run up and hug you all, but that would involve a lot of traveling, I'm sure, and so to save money just visit my homepage link (which is my fic livejournal) and check out my responses to reviews. Thanks again! You guys rock! The next update should come by the new year. I'm hoping to get this fic done by mid February… but we'll see. Until next time!

12-10-05


	6. Chapter Six

_Disclaimer: As always, these characters and the plotline this fic is based off of don't belong to me. I take no credit for any of this._

XxXxX

**Chapter Six**

XxXxX

It had been one standard week since he had died. Though Sienna, busy with her fellow Jedi and with the preparations for the ceremony the following day did not get many chances to think about it, the fact was hanging in the back of her mind the entire day. She remembered his dying laughter, his slaughtered body, his warm dark eyes… she remembered him as an angel, something nobody else would have seen him as. A murdered angel.

She knew he had not been perfect nor a good man, but that was part of him. It was a part of Atton.

During the late afternoon, Bastila, Juhani, Mira, Visas and Sienna were standing around Sienna, Mira and Visas' suite with a few of the Chancellor's personal wardrobe managers. Since most of the robes the five female Jedi possessed were not in great condition, Chancellor Viatriz had insisted that her wardrobe workers would fashion new robes for the Jedi. Visas had been the only one to refuse and had asked instead that they would simply sew back together the rips in her worn clothes and hood.

Sienna stood and examined herself in the mirrors the three women in charge of the wardrobe had brought with them. The robes were much fancier than ordinary Jedi robes with their rich crimson color and cream trim. They weren't nearly as bulky as regular robes, possessing thinner layers. Bastila, Mira and Juhani were all wearing similar robes.

"Is it too short at any points, miss?" asked one of the managers, a yellow Twi'lek, holding pieces of loose fabric in her hands. Sienna shook her head and the woman smiled and moved over to Juhani to ask the same question.

The crimson colors of Sienna's robes made her mind wander, however, and she remembered her robes on Malachor, when they had been drenched in blood, her own… and Atton's. It sent a shiver up her spine to recall the event and she stepped down from the podium she was standing on and sat in a chair near Visas, who had been satisfied with the sewing job long ago.

"Is something on your mind?" Visas asked Sienna after a few moments of silence.

Sienna turned towards Visas and blinked. She had talked to Visas about many things, but mostly about the Miraluka, not about Sienna. But somehow, Sienna felt that the Miraluka knew more about the Exile than was obvious; she had always had brilliant perceptions, especially with her odd source of vision.

"I suppose something is… something always is recently," stated Sienna plainly. "I'm just not sure if this is the right place to be… the right thing to do. I want to allow the Jedi to return to the galaxy, but is this where I belong, Visas?"

The Miraluka considered this for a moment. "The Force will guide you wherever you need to go," she cryptically stated. But then she smiled. "Maybe you won't stay here. Just go where you feel you need to go, Sienna, the Force will guide you," she repeated.

Though to the outsider her words would not make much sense whatsoever, Sienna grasped the words and held them as her anchor for the rest of the evening, to stop from thinking of the impending danger that grew in her mind. Something wasn't right and she wasn't sure if it was simply Mical, Revan, or something else.

Her worries were found out, though, around sunset on Coruscant with a loud bang down the hall and then the door flinging open.

A man Sienna recognized as Chancellor Viatriz's advisor burst into the room, looking hassled and older than his young features usually implied and his brown hair was wild. The man looked crazed.

"What is it, why are you interrupting us?" asked one of the wardrobe women, accidentally sticking Mira with a pin in the process. The redhead emitted a tiny groan, but kept her eyes on the advisor, questioning what was going on. Bastila, also sitting down by now, looked up as Visas studied the man carefully. Juhani tensed and Sienna felt like the climax of the moment had come.

"It's the Senate…" the advisor said his breath a little out of control. "Chancellor Viatriz wanted to come herself, but she's with the Senate on Coruscant and can't come. She left me here to keep an eye on things." Footsteps came up behind the man and Mical, Dustil and Bao-Dur appeared, all in similar robes to most of the Jedi women.

"What's going on?" asked Dustil, examining the advisor cautiously.

The advisor looked around the room at the expectant faces. "The Senate has, for the most part, changed their minds. And if the ceremony goes through tomorrow, many are threatening to murder the Jedi in the middle of the ceremony platform. And they are planning to bomb the Jedi Temple as well!"

"Clearly killing three Sith Lords and saving the galaxy doesn't change some people's minds about things," muttered Mira, cursing a little bit under her breath. Sienna silently agreed with her.

"What are we going to do then?" asked Visas. "Will we go through with the ceremony anyways, with the risk, or give up, or try and get the Chancellor to calm down the Senate so that they won't kill us?" The advisor looked down at the floor thoughtfully for a moment before looking around at each of the Jedi, his eyes resting questioningly on Sienna, asking her silently what to do.

Sienna thought herself of the situation for a moment. Then she remembered what Bastila had said, about the old man named Jolee Bindo who had died during his time of hiding. Did she want to grant that fate to every Jedi in the galaxy, including her dear friends in this room?

"We will go through with the ceremony tomorrow, and for now Chancellor Viatriz can try her best to calm the Senate down," decided Sienna.

Most of the Jedi in the room nodded, agreeing with her decision. "Admiral Onasi can hopefully provide us with extra protection, just in case any of the senators go through with their plans. It appears that Kreia's grasp reached further than just you, Sienna, and right into the heart of the politics of the day." Sienna nodded in agreement, not looking up at Mical.

"So, I shall tell the Chancellor that you plan to go through with the ceremony as planned no matter what threats arise?" Every Jedi in the room nodded.

Once the advisor left the room, Mira sighed and sat down onto a chair near Visas and Sienna. "Well, action like this seems to follow you everywhere, doesn't it Sienna? Even after you kill off the last remaining Sith Lords, there's still somebody who wants to attack, isn't there?" Mira had hit the idea right on there. This sign reminded Sienna that she wasn't alone in this.

If the Senators were going to send anybody to attack the Jedi tomorrow, Sienna would not face them alone. She had seven other Jedi to fight with her, along with Admiral Onasi and whatever men he could spare.

"Mical, could you go speak to Admiral Onasi about lending some more militaristic support tomorrow?" Sienna asked the blonde man, and he nodded before trucking off, the crimson robes he wore flowing behind him. "I think we should all get out of these clothes. We want to keep them nice for tomorrow, don't we now?" Mira nodded and headed for the 'fresher first as Bao-Dur and Dustil left the room to go to their own suite.

_At least if we bleed the stain won't be noticeable_, Sienna thought grimly.

XxXxX

Chancellor Malleri Viatriz had seen many things in her life. She had been a politician for the past forty years and had seen the Senate and the Republic through the good and the bad, through wars and a little bit of peace. She had dealt with many things.

However, this was something she hadn't seen happening anytime soon. She had led this galaxy through tough times with a strong rule and a strong hand but never neglecting the advice of others. But from the moment two days ago that the Chancellor had announced her intentions to not only welcome the Jedi back into society but to give them an award in a ceremony, she knew that good things would not come of this.

"…And for these reasons," continued the Senator from Manaan in his native Selkath language, "I believe that the welcoming of the Jedi back into a society where they are hated creatures who have caused so much destruction to our galaxy is absurd and that Chancellor Viatriz accepts these Jedi are honest and truthful shows her own foolishness."

The Chancellor blinked and closed her eyes, waiting for the blow to fall.

"I call for a Vote of No Confidence in Chancellor Viatriz's leadership," the Manaan senator concluded.

A uproar of noise came from the numerous senators located around the gigantic chamber, most of it approving of the motion. "I second the motion!" called out a senator's voice, Chancellor Viatriz wasn't sure which one it was. Soon enough the cries were louder, arguments broke out and a few of the senators defended the Jedi. Chancellor Viatriz noted a pattern in the defenders. There was the senator from Onderon, from Telos, from Dantooine, all the senators from the planets the Exile and her crew had helped.

But it was too late. Cries for immediate voting erupted and Chancellor Viatriz had to sit back down in her chair. "They will surely pass a law to purge the galaxy of all Jedi if another is elected," Chancellor Viatriz hissed to her young advisor's holographic form which had just reactivated.

"The Jedi said that they wanted to go through with the ceremony, no matter what, and they will fight back if threatened," the advisor told the Chancellor.

Chancellor Viatriz paused and stared down at the senators yelling at one another, screeching their different languages and a gavel next to her calling for order. But there was none. "Then we will go through with the ceremony, Karl."

"Admiral Onasi will surely give back-up at the ceremony in case it is needed," mentioned Karl.

The idea came to Chancellor Viatriz's mind at that moment. She hadn't been Chancellor for twenty five years without having a bright idea now and then. "Karl… speak to Carth Onasi, tell him about the situation and tell him to contact me as immediately as possible. We may be able to prevent all the Jedi in the galaxy from being murdered yet."

XxXxX

As the evening passed by it felt tenser by the second. Visas, Mira and Sienna were still awake, and they were centered in the main room of the suite, each of them not looking at one another and instead staring at the ground in front of them. Since Bastila and Juhani had left the room about two hours away, not a word had been spoken.

The door burst open for the second time that night, however, not much later when Chancellor Viatriz's advisor arrived again. He wasted no time in informing the three Jedi in what had happened in the Senate and how they had decided to reconvene in two days to vote for a new Chancellor.

"And the ceremony?" Sienna asked.

"Chancellor Viatriz will solve that, don't you worry," the advisor told her, his voice more casual than Sienna would have expected for a situation such as this. "Just show up at the main entrance of this building at midday tomorrow, you and all of your companions dressed up properly, and this will take care of itself."

Sienna nodded and the advisor left the room.

It didn't take long after that for Visas and Mira to retire to bed and Sienna went to her own bed as well. But unlike the former two, Sienna stayed awake and stared at the ceiling for a long while. She thought of many things, but no rational thoughts came into her mind. She considered the situation if the senators set up a bounty on Jedi just as the Exchange had, but preferred the Jedi dead. She thought about Atton and recalled how it had been five mere days ago, a mere week, that the man had died.

And she thought about Revan. Recalling her once friend from years and years ago, she recalled how Revan looked, how she walked, how she would toss her black hair haughtily behind her back when making a point, before she cut it for a more professional look during the Mandalorian Wars. Revan's voice resounded in Sienna's ears, reminding her of all the times it was so obvious Revan had fallen and yet blind loyalty and friendship had blocked Sienna from seeing it until it was too late.

Sometime later, Sienna had no clue what time it was, a knock came at the door. Sienna slowly got out of her bed and slipped on her outer robe to go and open the door.

"Mical… what are you doing here?"

Fear struck into Sienna's heart at seeing him standing in the doorway. She was too vulnerable at the moment, she had been seeing images of the past, of the things she was running from and did not want to see, and she couldn't face Mical now. She wasn't strong enough to tell him the truth.

"In case the worst comes tomorrow, Sienna, I need to know that truth you promised me."

The Exile could not look into Mical's innocent eyes at that moment, they would burn her very core and make her break down into the liquidated form she had been the night after Atton died, the first night she had lied to him and slept with him.

_The time is fast approaching Sienna; you don't have much more time. Whether tomorrow is the end or the beginning, a change is coming, and you need to tell him._

Not yet. Tomorrow, when I can be strong.

_You're running out of time._

Sienna blinked and looked up at Mical's probing eyes. She ignored the reason in her mind. "I will tell you, I promise Mical, but at this moment I am too tired to explain anything. I haven't slept yet. I've been worried." It was a half-truth. Mical would believe it. He didn't believe she could lie. But she could. His admiration for her was based upon her lies.

"I have been worried as well, but Admiral Onasi promises that if he has anything to say about it, he will not let us be harmed tomorrow," replied Mical. He suddenly looked awkward in the doorway and shifted his weight from foot to foot. "Tell me when you're ready Sienna, but we don't have all the time in the galaxy." And with that he walked away.

_I think I figured out that I didn't have as much time as I thought I did the moment Atton died._

XxXxX

Dun dun dun! And the plot thickens with a little bit of politics, murder plots and, of course, angst. Not too much longer now, I think there should be about two chapters left… but I'm not positive. I am so glad I finally got this chapter out. Yes, yes I am. Anyways, I hope you enjoy this chapter, review responses are on my homepage in my author's page (aka: my livejournal for my fan fics) and thank you all soooooo much for the reviews. I hope that if you are still enjoying the story you'll drop another review… and until next time, I adore you all so much and I adore writing this story. XD

1-21-06

_EDIT: Chapters three through six edited because of amusing forgetfulness. I forgot which planet the Jedi were on! Shame on me. Lots of it._


	7. Chapter Seven

_Disclaimer: I don't own any of this! What a surprise!_

_Author's Notes: Thanks to fongiel for beta-ing this chapter! Whoo!_

XxXxX

**Chapter Seven**

XxXxX

The next morning dawned earlier than Sienna had expected. She awoke not long after the Telosian sun had risen, as if it were judgment day and the time of judgment was about to be faced. Mira and Visas were still asleep and Sienna found herself taking a long time to shower, to put on her delicate new robes, to eat a small breakfast and to examine her lightsaber, making sure that she could fight in these new robes with the weapon.

Midday was rapidly approaching and once Mira and Visas had woken up they too were silent and all three women's common fears of what might come this day were not voiced… but they were there.

Once midday did come, all eight of the Jedi were standing in front of the large building on a landing platform along with Chancellor Viatriz's advisor, Karl Marten, Admiral Onasi and a dozen guards in case of an emergency.

"We are taking a shuttle to the planet's surface," explained the advisor, looking up at the sky expectantly. "Admiral Onasi here thinks it would be safer for Citadel Station if we have this ceremony not orbiting in space. Originally we were hoping to go to Coruscant, but with the little time we have… we must do it here on Telos."

Sienna nodded silently. All of the Jedi seemed to follow her lead. All stood erect and dignified, neither haughtily nor arrogantly and wore expressionless faces, ignoring the knowledge that an attack might come at any second. The eight Jedi had lightsabers strapped to their belts where their hands rested gently though readily.

The shuttle arrived quickly and Karl Marten rushed the group onboard. But as the shuttle took off, a ship was seen landing in the distance on the planet.

"Media folk," Karl explained to a tense Sienna. "We need some means of getting out the news that the Jedi are good folk, even if the Senate denies that they are. The Galactic Holonet will take care of such things, however, and soon enough you all will be free to roam the galaxy as you wish."

_If we survive this,_ thought Sienna grimly.

It was etched over every man and woman's face. They knew that this was the moment of decision. If they were afraid, they could stop the shuttle now, get off the craft and run away. But none did. They knew this was their chance to leave… but this was also a chance to redeem their good names.

"Buckle up!" called the captain from the cockpit and each Jedi and soldier complied.

_Time to buckle up for this Day of Judgment…_

"Ready for takeoff."

_Time to face everything you've been avoiding…_

"Here we go…"

_Time to tell the truth, Sienna, to yourself, to the galaxy, to Mical…_

Today was the day for all these things; Sienna knew this would be the day of decision. But first, before any of it, Sienna needed to face the galaxy before she faced Mical and her own demons.

The shuttle moved quickly and it wasn't very long before they had landed on the Telosian surface with much more grace than she had endured last time. Atton had been piloting… Kreia had complained about his piloting… and there Sienna had found Bao-Dur again…

The Iridonian had a sort of serene conviction about him, ready to face what was to come. He, like all the others, could sense it as easily as one could feel the cold. He seemed to know that Sienna was staring at him and he looked up and gave her a warm smile of reassurance and Sienna felt comforted for the moment.

Soon enough the shuttle had landed on the planet's surface and the Jedi were disembarking onto the surface. A few of the Jedi who had never seen the planet's surface before satisfied themselves in its beauty, watching the planet glimmer before them. Bao-Dur seemed breathless at their arrival, at peace in a sense, and even Sienna could feel the comfort of the planet. Chodo Habat had been doing a wonderful job in healing the planet… it felt more at peace than Sienna could have ever imagined such a broken planet to feel.

"As always… I am amazed at what the Ithorians have done for this planet," Bao-Dur commented, breathing in the air heavily as if he had never breathed air before.

"_Talented at wasting the Republic's credits maybe."_

Sienna shook _his_ voice out of her head. She caught sight of Mical, looking relaxed and excited at the same time, excited to see such beauty but relaxed by the calming presence of the planet.

"We are set up about a mile from here, I hope you don't mind the walk," said Karl Marten, beginning to walk away from the shuttle already. He instructed four of the guards to stay with the ship and the other eight to come with the Jedi, Admiral Onasi and himself.

"Of course we don't mind, the walk will be refreshing," stated Visas with a small smile. Sienna felt gladdened for the Miraluka. Her homeworld was of the collection of dead planets this one had once been a part of. To see such a dead world restored would give her hope. The galaxy needed more hope.

As the Jedi walked through the paths of Telos, they felt more and more at ease with each passing moment and even began to converse in low tones, something they hadn't dared to do before. But it wasn't long before they arrived at the area where the award ceremony would take place. About a hundred soldiers were stationed at the area and it seemed that just as many people from the Holonet and other sources of media had arrived and were out with their holographic devices, ready to catch every word and motion that was displayed. Chancellor Viatriz stood with the rest of her entourage and Karl Marten wasted no time in joining her group. The Chancellor was dressed in stunning silver garments today that brought out the light grey hairs that dotted her otherwise rich brown hair. For a Chancellor being impeached, she still wore a smile on her lips and a look in her eye like she knew something no one else did.

"Welcome, Jedi," she called out to the group of Jedi. Each took their turn bowing to the Chancellor who bowed gracefully back. "Please, come join us on the platform."

A small marble platform had been built recently and that was where Admiral Onasi stood along with a few other recognized military personnel. Chancellor Viatriz and Karl Marten, alongside a few other members of Senate who supported the ceremony (including the Senators of Telos, Onderon and Dantooine) joined the military leaders on the platform. A small dark table stood in the center of the group holding a delicate looking box on it.

The eight Jedi stood on the platform in front of the various political and military leaders, all beaming happily, ignoring the possible threats that might arrive at any given moment.

"We have welcomed these eight Jedi here today to award them for their great services to our galaxy," began Chancellor Viatriz. "Over the ages, the Jedi have often aided us in times of need, but have we as a galaxy truly been thankful? About five years ago, a woman by the name of Revan was awarded for her services to the Republic." Sienna noted Admiral Onasi's darkening eyes, but the diplomatic smile stayed put. "She had been a villain to us in the past, but she paid for her crimes by assisting the galaxy against the evils both spawned of her and spawned of a race against us. Why, then, can we not award these Jedi in front of us for their services? Bastila Shan and Juhani were both companions of Revan, and have received their respective Crosses of Glory for their great assistance in saving this galaxy from darkness. Dustil Onasi, son of Admiral Onasi, has proven himself to be a worthy man, even though his days as a spy started when he was as young as twelve and taken by the Sith captive on Korriban."

Bastila, Juhani and Dustil stepped off to the side of the platform as each of their names were called and that's when Sienna noticed that the three had small crosses pinned to their robes.

"So today we welcome and honor five other Jedi who have contributed greatly to this galaxy. Formerly unknown as technicians and bounty hunters, these men and women have risen up to a challenge and embraced it," the Chancellor continued. Sienna had never heard her speak publicly before and hearing her now made her understand completely why she had been elected Chancellor. She spoke with great eloquence and passion and avoided the bureaucratic way of listing off facts and numbers.

"Led by their leader, an Exile of the Force, who was the single Jedi to walk away from the evils of the dark side when faced with the choice after the close of the Mandalorian Wars and shortly before the opening of the Jedi Civil War, these four Jedi have helped our galaxy by purging it of the evils that threatened to undo us. These five Jedi before me have conquered three Sith Lords, enemies of the Republic, destroyed their followers or made them see the error of their ways, helped Telos rebuild itself, helped Onderon wipe out the corruption from its politics, assisted Dantooine in defending itself against invaders that may have destroyed it, and destroyed the world of Malachor whose grave should have been in the Mandalorian Wars.

"From the shining center of our galaxy to the outskirts of the Unknown Regions, barely touching our wondrous galaxy, these five Jedi should be regarded as saviors who came to help us in our time of need and not as enemies because of the profession they chose."

At the mention of the outskirts of the Unknown Regions, it hit Sienna. She could recall something now. There was hope at last!

"_There are rumors of where the Mandalorians will strike next," said Revan to her General. "I am determined to stop them before they even begin."_

"_Is that so, Revan?" asked Sienna, quirking an eyebrow in question. "I have heard that they are collecting their forces on Dxun, preparing for the first attack on Republic space since we entered this war. Dxun is their sort of territory, they know it well and they'll turn that against us."_

"_But what about the rumors of Csilla?" asked Revan, whisking around to face Sienna. "Tell me there've been rumors of Csilla."_

_Sienna leaned forward in her chair. "Why do you care about Csilla so much? What is Csilla anyways?"_

"_It's near the Unknown Regions… but it's unimportant," said Revan quickly._

"_The Unknown Regions! That's halfway across the galaxy from Dxun!" exclaimed Sienna. "I am certain that the Mandalorians are on Dxun."_

The conversation had shifted from there… but Csilla. Now there was a hint as to where Revan might be or where Sienna could find a trace of her! It was a sign from the Force, a sign that it was time to go. Not quite yet, but very soon. She was ready. As soon as the Jedi were safe, she had explained everything to Mical, she could find Revan.

For some reason, Revan was the key to everything. Once Sienna had set everything right in the galaxy, she felt that her place was with her dear friend and comrade, her true commander: Revan. She radiated such power and perfection to Sienna that she needed to find the woman. And if what Kreia had said was true… if such a great threat was soon to come… Sienna would need her help.

"…And so, today, I have gathered you all here as witnesses to watch as I award these five dazzling Jedi with the Cross of Glory, the highest honor one could receive." Applause came from the observers as Karl Marten opened the box on the table and held it out in front of Chancellor Viatriz. Inside the box were five cream colored crosses identical to the ones on Juhani, Dustil and Bastila's robes.

"Jedi Knight Visas Marr," Chancellor Viatriz called out and Visas stepped forward. Bowing deep to the Chancellor, she looked the picture of grace and what a Jedi should be. As she stood up straight again, the Chancellor pinned the cross onto her chest and shook Visas' hand as the Miraluka stepped to the side where Dustil, Juhani and Bastila stood.

"Jedi Knight Bao-Dur." Bao-Dur stepped forward. The robes he was wearing were fashioned strangely to accustom his self-created left arm. He bowed as Visas had and the Chancellor placed the cross over his heart. Mira was called forward and the bounty huntress looked more Jedi-like than Sienna had ever seen her before. She felt like a proud mother seeing her children grow up. And she should. These four were her Padawans and her friends and she was proud of them. Mical was called next and he bowed respectfully and smiled as he too received the Cross of Glory.

"Jedi Master Sienna Vaas," announced Chancellor Viatriz and Sienna was about ready to correct her, to tell her that she wasn't a master, but a look from the Chancellor silenced Sienna. She stepped forward, trying her best not to shake. She never liked to be looked upon by a large crowd, one reason why she was glad Revan and Malak received most of the fame during the Mandalorian Wars, but she smiled nonetheless and shook the Chancellor's hand heartily after the Cross of Glory was placed above her heart.

"With this motion of respect towards the Jedi, I am hoping that from now on, the Jedi Order can be restored to its former glory to protect and watch over this galaxy, its peoples, its Republic and its morals," concluded the Chancellor. "Furthermore, I-"

But Chancellor Viatriz was cut off by a loud shriek from the audience of media members. A small woman was staring up at the sky, horrorstruck, and every other person present looked up as well. Sienna herself was ready to scream at that as a ship flew, seemingly out of nowhere, and landed right on top of a few unlucky soldiers who didn't have the chance to move.

The loading ramp of the ship dropped down to the ground and dozens of men poured out of the craft, more than Sienna thought possible to fit in that space.

As the media members began running out of the area as quickly as they could, the Chancellor and the other politicians stood steady and Admiral Onasi and his military personnel tensed while the surviving soldiers began to form a circle around the collected assassins. The Jedi all stepped off the platform, their hands lying "casually" on their lightsabers. One of the assassins, dressed from head to toe in black, came forward and spoke to Sienna.

"Come quietly with us, Jedi, and we might just not kill everyone in the vicinity."

_I didn't come all this way, learn all these things, come face this day to die. This day of battle between those who want to kill me and those who want to protect me will not end with my death, for that I am certain. I have not finished what I needed to do._

_I am not ready to see Atton again yet._

"I do not do well with threats," replied Sienna, her face hardened and cold. "You had best leave and go tell the Senators that if they kill us we will only be martyrs for a cause."

"But it won't be the Senators killing you," the assassin countered, his mouth widening with glee. All that was visible were cold grey eyes and that malicious smile. "It is my _pleasure_ to murder you, master Jedi," he mocked the title. "And even if the Senators had not paid me a hefty sum, I would have gladly done away with your kind."

Without waiting for another word, the assassin struck out, but Sienna was prepared and easily cleaved his body in half with her bright blue 'saber. It shone through the deceased assassin's body. And so the battle began.

XxXxX

I am a chapter writing fiend! Haha. But anyways, thanks to fongiel who gave this chapter a look over and gave some nice pointers out. Thanks to you reviewers who rock my fan fiction writing world and I'd like to thank my puppy. Kidding there at the last one, hehe. Anyways, yes, I am very glad to have gotten this chapter out so quickly.

I did even more research this time! I looked up galaxy maps! Oh my god, yes I did! Haha, so Csilla is a real planet in the Star Wars galaxy. I know a little bit about it, so it might be a little odd to hear Csilla in there, but that's the planet being used. I must really like this fic to bother doing research on it!

So anyways, review responses on my homepage along with probably some extra author's notes. Until the next chapter (which I hope will get out by mid February) review, eat chocolate and, well, give me some of that chocolate?

1-23-05


	8. Chapter Eight

_Disclaimer: These characters and the plotline this fan fiction is based off of do not belong to me. And as horrible as it sounds, I have accepted it. Long ago. Like eight chapters ago._

XxXxX

**Chapter Eight**

XxXxX

Seven lightsabers ignited behind Sienna, their colors ranging from the pale yellow of Bastila's blade to the deep violet of Mira's and as the lightsabers brightened up the darkening day, the assassins cocked their weapons and commenced shooting every life form in sight.

For a few moments, the worry of the situation struck Sienna's mind. The senators really had turned against the Chancellor and though she was still their Chancellor until the next day when they would elect a new one, they would do anything in their power to kill off the Jedi as well as any who sided with the Jedi.

Unless there was another force controlling the Senate…

But now was not the time for worrying about what would happen after the battle or what caused the battle. Now was the time to _do_ battle.

Sienna's blue 'saber whisked in every direction as she blocked blow after blow of every vibrosword that attacked her, defended herself against the blaster bolts that turned her way and sliced through every flesh that threatened her. She could sense the Jedi behind her, as well as Admiral Onasi and his men, as they fought out against the assassins, knowing that it was just another battle to face.

Pushing on every muscle of her body to press harder, Sienna fought through the lines of black-clad assassins. The soldiers there to protect her but were falling easier than expected. The assassins were skilled, not a group of ragtag jumbled up group of outcasts, and they were trained in their art of battle.

A female scream came from not far behind her, but Sienna dare not glance back to see who had been injured. They had expected this and they were trained even better than these assassins had been trained. They could defend themselves and destroy their enemies.

In her mind were the patterns of sparring she used to practice long ago. _Step right, twirl back to your left, slice out under your left arm and then turn halfway to face your opponent, making sure that another one isn't behind him ready to strike while you are striking…_ The techniques of the lightsaber she had studied during her years flew into her mind subconsciously and she fought with a calm sort of fury, an aura of necessity around her. She battled because she needed to win.

However, as the tide shifted to their side, Sienna felt a wave of something far darker. A ripple grew from the Force and threw itself into her, painfully.

_It's coming, _she thought as the pain pressed harder on her skull… no_ inside_ her skull, inside her very soul and being._ This is only the beginning, turning the Senate against the Jedi. Soon enough we will be exiled and a far more terrible plague will take over the galaxy. I need to go… I need to find Revan, to stop this!_

It was so intense, the burning sensation that scorched her internal flesh, and it was odder than any warning she had ever received, a sensation of all emotions assembling in the form of pain. It felt as if she was being struck with Force lightning or some contraption far worse…

She felt a corpse fall against her. Soon after that small jerk that drew her out of the inner pain she was suffering a hand grabbed the corpse away. Sienna only then noticed that she had been lying on the ground, writhing with the pain. It was Bao-Dur who had ripped the corpse off of her. "General? Are you alright?"

The pain subsided instantly, stunning Sienna for a second as she lay curled up on the ground, shaking involuntarily. She tried to nod, but could only shake her head, and Bao-Dur grabbed her by the shoulder and lifted his orange 'saber into his other hand, defending both of them as he hurried for a close-by cave (a contraption Telos' surface had many of). They quickly arrived in the dark and cold cave and Sienna lay against a wet wall while Bao-Dur stayed by the mouth of the cave.

"General… what happened out there?" asked Bao-Dur, looking outside at the battle below, shutting off his lightsaber to keep the bloodthirsty predators of Jedi away. Another ship had just landed and more assassins piled out, all looking like walking death in their black robes and hoods. "One minute you were battling with that battle frenzy you seem to always gather up in yourself… and then suddenly you fell onto the ground. You are lucky none of the assassins took the chance to gut you then." The Iridonian kept his head facing the direction of the battle, but his eyes continuously darter to Sienna.

"It hurt, Bao-Dur…" Sienna said, not trying to, but trembling. The weight of the pain still stung and the worst part was that she had no clue how it had happened. Someone surely would have noticed if the assassins were Force-Sensitive, so it couldn't have happened directly to her.

"This sudden pain, like being struck with lightning on my insides and my out came at me within a second and I thought of the horrible darkness that is to come to the galaxy, and soon!" exclaimed Sienna, hysterical by now. "Kreia mentioned it… that she and Nihilus and Sion were only pawns of the larger battle to come. Something greater and more terrible than the Mandalorian Wars or the Jedi Civil War which were both spawned of this dark threat."

Bao-Dur quickly examined Sienna's physical being with his eyes. "You seem fine now, General, merely frightened." He paused. "This horrible darkness that is to come… what do you intend to do about it?" He looked at her eyes and as they averted his, he understood easily and froze in his place, his face seemingly hardening slightly.

"You are going to leave us. You are going to fight it on your own. General, you can't do this alone-"

"I am not intending to," she cut him off, the trembling stopping now as the echo of the pain dissipated. "I need to find Revan. She knows more than I do, she can help; she can save the galaxy… I can't…" she trailed off into an unintelligible whisper.

The Zabrak looked at Sienna. She felt so horrible at the moment. For some unexplainable reason, she felt that this was all her fault, that she had called the assassins forward.

_Perhaps I did,_ she thought. _As the wound in the Force I am… perhaps I call all wounded creatures to me, like the bloodthirsty animals that are hunting our kind out there right now and taking any life that gets in their way! I may be capable, but I can't stop this, I can't save the galaxy or even the Jedi; that is up to my friends. And my work is to find Revan. That is my role in this._

"But General," said Bao-Dur quietly, cutting into her thoughts. "You already have saved the galaxy. And your friends as well. You think that any of us would have ended up as well as we did if we had not followed you?" Sienna blinked, and she felt touched instead of frightened now. "Whatever this darkness may be, General, you are not helpless against it and neither are we thanks to you. You have done more than you give yourself credit for, and have more to do in your life than be a messenger, as important as that role may be."

There was a moment of silence where both the Exile and the Iridonian looked away from each other, Sienna speechless and Bao-Dur done with his speech. "We have to go back now, Bao-Dur, we have to fight them," whispered Sienna, the tears welling up in her eyes partially horrified, partially self-loathing and partially touched to the heart for his remarks.

Bao-Dur nodded and reignited his lightsaber. "You can walk by yourself, General?" With a nod, Sienna stood and ignited her 'saber as well. They began to walk out of the cave, but Bao-Dur stopped her before she could exit. "Just remember, General. He would have died on Peragus, in the explosion caused by Sion (not caused by _you_, but by Sion) had he not met you. And from what he told me, you made him a better person. You made _all_ of us better people."

Tears dripped from Sienna's eyes at that moment, touched to the core of her very existence. Remembering Atton at a time when she was so fearful of what had already come to pass, what was to come either sooner or later, and what was happening then and there was painful, but Bao-Dur's words lifted her spirits and made it possible. Maybe it hadn't been her fault. Maybe she could do something to make everything right in the end.

But right now, it was time to fight for the right to do those things. For a little while. And then she would go. She would go and do as much as she could to save the galaxy… and the Jedi.

XxXxX

The battle had ended shortly after the Telosian sun had completed its descent into the horizon. The Jedi were all still alive and even Mira, who had a broken arm (snapped by one of the assassins) was finally able to breathe freely.

Once the assassins had been killed off, the Chancellor had received a transmission from the Senate revoking their Vote of No Confidence in her. Apparently, the resignation forms of Admiral Onasi and half of the Republic fleet's most needed officers had made them realize that Chancellor Viatriz was the best woman for the job at the time, and that perhaps she had been right. The Senator from Manaan was most distraught to hear that paid assassins had been sent after the Chancellor and the Jedi, and a new law was to be drafted soon.

But there were two people not on the Telosian surface after the battle had ended. Two significant people. Both Sienna and Mical were missing.

XxXxX

As she boarded the Ebon Hawk, she kept hearing Bao-Dur's words in her mind… and they made her glad. It was one way to keep her distracted at a time where her mind was going crazy with the situation she was facing, to keep her heart light. T3-M4 and HK-47 were both on board the ship already, and Sienna had spoken to Admiral Onasi shortly before exiting the battlefield when the fight was winding down.

"_I hope you can send a transmission as soon as you find out any information, Exile," had said Admiral Onasi. "Csilla is not a world commonly traveled to and the Chiss are not the most welcoming of all species."_

"_It's the only place that I can think I might find information of Revan," Sienna had explained. "And please, Admir- Carth, call me Sienna."_

_Admiral Onasi had nodded. "I understand, Sienna, and I am sorry. Just… be careful. And keep us updated. We want the Republic to be prepared for anything and everything that may come our way." Sienna had nodded and smiled at the man, giving a small bow of the head._

"_By the way, congratulations on the Cross of Glory, you have done more for this galaxy than most, save perhaps a few," Admiral Onasi had said. He had given her a salute, and Sienna had returned it, before switching off her lightsaber and running off the battlefield, back to the shuttle…_

She had made the promise, but Sienna wasn't sure if she would keep it. She didn't want to alert her companions to where she was going… if Kreia had been right about anything, she had been right that she could not bring any of her companions… her _friends_, with her where she traveled. She would have to go alone.

But another thing Kreia had been right about was the pure idealistic love that Mical held for the Exile. And that was what had led him to sitting in the pilot's chair on the Ebon Hawk.

After Atton had died, Bao-Dur had made a point not to sit in the pilot's chair, and Sienna found this most respectful to Atton's spirit. It kept her somewhat satisfied to see an empty chair there as if Bao-Dur was saving it for Atton who had only vanished for a few moments to use the 'fresher or grab some caffa.

But now, after the passionate battle she had fought, the five long days of treacherous torture she had endured, the painful process of accepting Atton's death, Kreia's death, the contradicting ideas and voices in her mind brought about by Kreia and what had happened on Malachor, and having to face a galaxy that hated her… to see Mical sitting in place of Atton made her want to rip her mind out of her skull. It was too much to take. To the ordinary person, it would have been a small peeve, but to Sienna, it snapped the last hinge holding her together.

For the second time, in front of Mical, she lost herself.

"_How dare you sit there!_" she screeched, not meaning to be so irked, but this broke down her heart, made her realize again that Atton would never sit there again, never play pazaak again, never brood or complain again… he wasn't merely in the 'fresher or getting some caffa… he was gone. And Mical wanted to take his place, the place in her heart that held Atton and only Atton.

"I'm… I'm sorry," mumbled Mical, standing up awkwardly, frightened by her outburst.

The angry tears spilled from her already red and puffy eyes and Sienna's mind pounded harder and harder in frustration and the painful process of acceptance. "Mical… I don't love you!" she finally blurted out and suddenly her head stopped pounding so painfully. "I never did! I never wanted to trick you; I've just been so confused! But everything makes sense now, everything! And that includes how I feel about you, and how I felt about Atton!"

"Atton?" asked Mical, confused. "What has anything got to do with Atton?"

"Because… I loved him!" shouted Sienna. It finally dawned on her. She really, truly loved Atton. But it was too late now. Atton was dead. And Mical had been the way of realizing this… really realizing that the man she loved was dead and gone.

"I don't want to have any life with you Mical! You're too good for me! Don't you see? I have to go! I have to go, and find Revan, and help her with whatever she needs to do. But you! You're so innocent, so pure! Or… maybe you were before I ever fooled you… before I stole all of your perfectly sweet naivety away."

She was hiccupping by now and the tears wouldn't stop pouring. Mical looked so hurt, his soft eyes so blatantly wounded, but for the first time she felt like she was showing the young man exactly who she was and he needed to see that. "You need to stay here, Mical," she said, taking a step closer to him. He froze, a little frightened by her movement after she had yelled at him. "You need to watch over the Jedi. You are a great Jedi, Mical, and an even better person, even if you are not as wise as some are… that will come with age. But you are capable."

"I'm… I'm sorry, Exile," he whispered.

"It's not you who should be sorry, Mical, it's me. It's my fault. I hurt you. I never meant to, I swear on the will of the Force that I never intended to harm you in any way… I just never intended to be anything closer than a friend and mentor with you. My confusion got the best of me… my tangled emotions."

Mical nodded, surprising Sienna. "I understand. And I accept the mission you give to me… master." Sienna smiled slightly and he grabbed her hands, loosely but with meaning. "What you tell me to do, I will do for you as you are my master, Sienna, my true master and the only one I would have ever chosen to have if given any choice. "And if you want me to stay here, I will. And I will watch over your friends, as they are mine as well, and the Jedi Order as it should be will return if you will it. Everything you will me to do, I will do for you, no matter what, master." He concluded his speech with a bow identical to the one he had greeted her with back on Dantooine. A true gentleman's bow.

"Thank you," whispered Sienna, grabbing Mical and hugging him tightly, a friend's embrace, not a lover's one. He left and Sienna was alone in the cockpit. She took a seat in the co-pilot's chair, stared over at the pilot's seat and could almost see him sitting there, leaning back in the chair with his eyes closed and a grin on his face.

"_And you'll be here, with me, playing Pazaak."_

She laughed. He had always been focused on the Pazaak game. But in her mind, she knew he really had always been really focused on her.

T3-M4 rolled into the room with a few greeting beeps. "Alright, T3, let's get this ship moving. We're going to Csilla."

_We'll find Revan, we'll stop this impending doom, the Republic will calm down, and maybe I'll live through it all so I can enjoy peace just a few moments… until I am ready to see Atton again…_

XxXxX

Now, I would say The End, but there is definitely going to be an epilogue so I'll wait for that to declare the fic over. There's possibly the option of a ninth chapter and then an epilogue, but we'll see. For now, it's just eight chapters.

So whoo! I am sorry if you guys were expecting me to continue this fic into the Exile's journey for Revan on Csilla and beyond, but I never planned to get further than this since I came up with the plot idea. Actually, for a while, I thought it was just going to be a oneshot, the first chapter alone and nothing else. But I'm glad I did more. I also didn't expect to put more of a physical plot to this rather than focus solely on the angst as I originally thought I was going to. So a lot isn't what I expected.

I also didn't expect that I'd get such great and positive feedback for this fic! So I would definitely like to thank everybody reviewed, not even just the folk who reviewed almost every chapter, but even if you reviewed just a single time, I thank you so much for your reviews, they mean so much to me, they really keep me writing. So thank you everybody. Really, thank you.

Also, I'm proud to say that this was the longest chapter. Yay! So you get a nice beefy closing chapter. Anyways, review responses can be found on my homepage. Just click on my author's page and its there… it's a beautiful livejournal specifically to alert people to updates on all my fics and sometimes cookies and other random things.

So the Epilogue will hopefully be up soon enough. It shouldn't be too long. Reviews, as always, are greatly appreciated, even if there's very little more to go. And lurkers are welcome to review too. :-P Anyways, I really hope you guys enjoyed all this. Adios for now!

2-1-06


	9. Epilogue

_Disclaimer: As I've been saying this entire fic, these characters and the plot this fic is based off of don't belong to me. Nope. None of it belongs to me, I take no credit, okay-thanks-good-bye._

XxXxX

**Epilogue**

XxXxX

The group of remaining Jedi, the Chancellor and her entourage, Admiral Onasi, and the other military men who had been at the ceremony were all crowded into the meeting room in which the Chancellor had first met all the Jedi. The atmosphere was much more serious than it had been then, though it had been quite serious then too.

All of the Jedi lived. Mical and Sienna were missing. Admiral Onasi said that the Exile had left… and Bao-Dur had been the one to say that Mical had probably gone after her.

"There is more at work here," stated Bao-Dur. "She knew about it… that's why she's going. She's going to go find Revan and help us fight whatever it is that is going to come to try and destroy this galaxy we have worked so hard to preserve." All eyes landed on Bao-Dur. "She can't take us with her… and she won't make an exception for Mical."

Mira scoffed. "Why not? She's sleeping with the guy."

All eyes turned from Bao-Dur to Mira, some shocked, some disbelieving, and Bao-Dur's pair trying to tell her to shut up. "What did you say, miss?" asked one of the Chancellor's entourage.

"She's been sleeping with Mical," Mira repeated, unfazed.

Bao-Dur groaned. "Mira, you don't quite understand the situation. Can't you tell? She has no feelings for him." Mira scoffed again, disbelieving. "She's upset over Atton."

Mira cocked an eyebrow. "Over Atton? You've got to be kidding me. Why would she be upset over Atton Rand? Come on, if anybody was given the option between the two guys, most would pick Mical over him."

"Well, as you can tell, she's not anybody," Bao-Dur said simply. The rest of the table was staring at the two Jedi arguing with each other incredulously. The Exile was the model Jedi… and she had love for somebody? No, according to Bao-Dur, she loved a man who had died and then slept with another of her fellow Jedi whom she didn't love.

Mira rolled her eyes. "She didn't love Atton, Bao, she hated him."

Surprisingly enough, it wasn't Bao-Dur that responded to Mira this time, but Bastila. "She didn't hate him… she loved him. Bao-Dur is right. She didn't ever say who directly… but from what I've gathered, she loved him. She told me the day we arrived on this planet… she told me that she thought she had loved _him_, and that she hadn't told _him_… that she had just watched him die."

It seemed that with Bastila's agreement with Bao-Dur it was indisputable. The room fell completely silent.

"How are we going to handle this then?" asked the Chancellor. "Many of our problems are solved… the politics of the situation mostly, but I can't guarantee that you are all safe. The Senators will not be happy, even if they are letting me stay in power for now. They will also be suspicious when they find that the Exile has run off to who-knows-where to find Revan, one of the most controversial Jedi in the history of this galaxy."

The Jedi all exchanged glances, seemingly talking with their minds. Visas was the one who answered for them all. "We will go through with this, Chancellor, no matter what. There is a threat approaching… we must be ready for it. We will band together, recreate the Order, gather all the Jedi back and when the Exile returns, and we all know she will, we will face whatever fights this galaxy together."

A pause passed through the room. The Chancellor thought to herself for a moment, but before she could respond, Admiral Onasi interrupted. "The Republic fleet will help face whatever fights this galaxy, side by side with the Jedi, just as during the Mandalorian Wars."

Chancellor Viatriz's face brightened considerably and a smile formed. "Just like old times… just like ten years ago. Maybe I will get a chance to meet Revan once again. She was a bright girl; very tough, very smart, very charismatic… she would have made a good politician had she not been a Jedi." She looked at each of the Jedi as she spoke. "As Supreme Chancellor I agree to help the Jedi fight any threat that faces them. If a threat faces you then it faces the entire Republic and even the galaxy as well."

The air seemed cleared between the Jedi and the Republic by these simple statements and declarations. Later that week, a new law was passed.

_Any being bearing the title of Jedi Padawan, Jedi Knight, Jedi Master or any official Jedi title given by the Jedi Council of the Jedi Order may not be attacked, arrested or tried in a court of law by any beings bearing different titles unless it seems fit by the Supreme Chancellor and the Senate that the Jedi have broken any of the Republic's laws._

_If any infractions between the Jedi in the Jedi Order occur, it is up to the Jedi Order to see the fit punishment for their kind._

There was more detail given to the law, certain guidelines and rules that must be followed, but the law was pretty simple. The Supreme Chancellor and the Senate had to agree that the Jedi were a threat before ridding the galaxy of the Jedi.

Mical had returned to the Jedi not a minute after the Chancellor pledged her allegiance to fighting the threat Sienna had gone to fight. He told Bao-Dur that he had let the Exile go where she needed to go… and he'd accept it.

It didn't take a very long time for the Jedi Order to reconvene. Atris sat upon it once again, her temporary fall to the dark side not curbing her bitterness any bit. Bao-Dur thought, from what he had heard from the Exile, that Atris was a bit jealous of Sienna. Kreia had chosen Sienna to find Revan and not Atris… Sienna had been the one to vanquish the three Sith Lords, not Atris… Sienna had been the one Kreia had loved, not Atris.

Also sitting on the council was Bao-Dur, Mira, Visas, Bastila, Juhani, Dustil and Mical as more often the leader of the group. Mical's deep love for the Exile never waned and everyday he would look as expectant for her return as the day before. Bao-Dur knew that each of her friends missed the Exile dearly, but she would return… they knew this. But they had to be ready for her return.

Long years passed before any threat would enter the galaxy, but the day it did, the Republic stood strong, side by side with the Jedi, ready to face the darkness creeping back into the galaxy.

XxXxX

Sienna Vaas finally saw her for the first time in so many years. She had forgotten how long it had been since she had first left for Csilla, first left Mical and her dearest friends, and since then her journey had led her onwards, traveling from strange new world to strange new world. And yet here stood Revan, the thing the Exile had been searching for over the course of what felt like a lifetime.

"So… you of all people are the one to find me," she greeted Sienna. The two women were standing at the edge of a large cliff overlooking raging waters below. They could not have looked more opposite. Revan had deep black hair, less unkempt than Sienna's mangled blonde locks, her height many centimeters higher than Sienna's, her skin a deep mocha in opposition from Sienna's light peach flesh, her flowing black robes much cleaner than Sienna's tattered tan ones, and her deep green eyes much more sorrowful than even Sienna's blue ones.

"I never knew I'd see you again, Revan," said the Exile.

Revan turned towards the shorter Jedi woman and frowned. "You're not here with good news, I'm sure." Sienna shook her head. "You're here to bring me back, aren't you? Who sent you? Carth? Bastila? Juhani? I can't go back… not yet. I don't know if I ever can," she added quietly.

"You might never go back?" asked Sienna incredulously. "If there is anything I have learned since I left your command it is that time is a precious thing, and if you are never planning on going back you are wasting it."

The darker women shook her head, smiling grimly. "There's a darkness out here that needs to be fought, Exile. There are more important things here to face than love."

"That's why I'm here," explained Sienna. "Carth wanted me to find you… but it's not that. Kreia, who claims to be your old master, the one you left T3-M4 and the Ebon Hawk to, she found me, T3 found me."

Revan nodded, understanding upon reflection. "I remember now. It was so long I thought T3 had never succeeded and that it was Carth that sent you here… or maybe its just my hope that he'd send someone… no, you're here by my orders, aren't you? You're here to fight beside me just as you did during the Mandalorian Wars." The two women still hadn't made eye contact, both looking out of the waters below. "Good. It's good to know there's still a loyal general in this universe."

Sienna blinked and looked up at Revan. "We can't fight this alone. The Jedi are rebuilding, the Republic is rebuilding. We must go back. We have allies there."

"I suppose you're right," said Revan, looking down at Sienna, a small smile playing at her lips. "But we will remain here a little while longer. I have things to show you, to tell you about… and I think you have things to tell me as well." The two women began heading away from the cliff. "What has happened since the Mandalorian Wars? I sense a change in you… something I never expected. You seem… light. Free. You never were that way, Exile. You were always burdened by something. And after all that happened before… I was certain you would have died by now."

Sienna smiled to herself as she and Revan walked further away from the cliff. "It was Malachor again, in a sense. I went back to fight Kreia. And there was a man… and his name was Atton… and he died in my arms on the planet, killed by one of Kreia's apprentices."

Revan glanced over at Sienna as the two walked. "Did you love him?"

They stopped walking for the moment. Sienna considered the question for a moment. She had already made the decision long ago that she had loved Atton, but should she tell Revan her story? Was Revan trustworthy? Perhaps all the rumors of her redemption were false, or maybe she had fallen since she had left the known galaxy. But perhaps not.

"Yes…" said Sienna to her old friend, "I did."

XxXxX

**The End**

XxXxX

Okay, that's the end of it. All done. I didn't have enough stuff to make out a ninth chapter, even though I wanted to make this nine chapters and an epilogue, but oh well. The End. I hope that the story was enjoyable. I would like to thank everybody who ever reviewed, you guys are so so awesome. Review responses are, as always, on my homepage on my author's page. ALSO on my author's page this time is a nice bulky paragraph about some alternative endings I had in mind. Actually, if you guys are interested, I might write up a few, but I doubt I will, probably since now that this fic's done I really should get back to work on the others.

Also, as always, new reviews are ALWAYS welcome. I could always use constructive criticism and my head isn't too big for compliments. XD Okay, now I'm done. Thank you guys again so much. Much love to everybody, lurkers and reviewers alike (shame on you lurkers). This is actually what I consider to be my first official finished fic. Use Your Imagination is too short to be an official finished fic. Alright, alright, I'm done now! I promise:P The Official End.

2-5-06


	10. Two Years Later

XxXxX

**Author's Note**

XxXxX

Right, so, it's been nearly two years since I finished this fic, and I wanted to just put in a quick thank you to everyone who dedicated so much of their time simply to read and (hopefully) enjoy my work.

This was the longest multi-chapter fan fic I ever finished, and only the second one I ever did finish. The other one is a bit too short to really be considered in the same league as _Once He's Dead_, but regardless. So, this was a very big accomplishment for me. It assured me that I could actually write something with a proper beginning, end, and a decent inbetween. I still like rereading this fic, I must add. And, to be honest, that's not conceit; I honestly enjoy reading this story again and again. I can't say that for many of my written works.

I invite you all, now, to continue the journey with me. Some of you have already noticed and some of you may have decided that you no longer want to pay any attention to this fandom or genre or fan fiction in general, but I still invite you to revisit this great accomplishment for me by reading the sequel to _Once He's Dead_.

_Once She's Gone_ is on its second chapter already. I hadn't written much fan fiction during 2007, and only at the end, when I revitalized one of my favourite storylines I've ever done, did I really remember how much I liked it.

_Once She's Gone_ will not feature Revan or the Exile, at least not as actual present beings in the story. As the title implies, like with its predecessor (in which Atton never appeared, but was always significant), the Exile, the _she_, will be the most significant character, though never present. This story belongs to the other four Lost Jedi: Mical, Visas, Mira, and especially Bao-Dur, I discovered after beginning to write it.

It will be short, probably as long as _Once He's Dead_, but I think character interaction is bound to play a larger role than internal dialogue. After all, these characters are not plagued by being wounds in the Force. Their stories are different.

So, again, I invite you to visit my profile and view my posted works; _Once She's Gone_ is listed there. I am very enthusiastic about this prospect and, therefore, really want you all to revisit this world with me.

Thank you again, everyone, for your fantastic support during those fabulous few months when I wrote this fan fiction. Your feedback means more than you may know.

always,

rpd

1-14-08


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